Jake

A published but then discarded Hobbit character from the Lord Of The Rings franchise, written by J R R Tolkien.

Jake was chosen first, over the character of Frodo Baggins, to be the carrier of the 'One Rind' an ancient strip of bacon rind forged long ago by the evil Jewish Necromancer "soups-on Goldstein".

Jake Nolan was quested to take the 'One Rind' to the cracks of 'Mount Pig Scrotum' where he was to cast it into the fiery sperm from once it came. No pun intended.

But alas Tolkien's first print was said to be "Far too Jewish for the public of it's time" and was unfortunately canned by the publishing company before it reached wide scale publication.

Only a few copy's survive of Tolkien's unread masterpiece for telling the heroic adventure of the debatable best protagonist that literature has never heard about, Jake.
Carlos - "Damn Jim I'm covered in pig sperm"

Jim - "Just like the One Rind after Jake threw it into Mount Pig Scrotum?"

Carlos - "Yeah exactly"
by CatBelly January 10, 2013
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jake

Asian girl, because Jake is a typical name for asian girls
I started working at the dishroom in a diner, and there were lots of Jakes there.
by Apollo Meklis January 30, 2009
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jakes

A somewhat rare post-withdrawal nervous twitch seen in recovered heroin addicts, usually as a twitch of the head.
He was moving his head around so much I thought he had the jakes.
by Dennis October 10, 2003
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Jake

An Asian prostitute who lives in the East Coast of the United States. Jake's are very frisky and tend to bite. They have no reproductive organs or self control.
Dude, I just saw a Jake in New York!
by Luckkk December 04, 2012
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jake

an annoying italian who thinks hes the shit and makes fun of canadians
by canadian128975 January 03, 2011
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[Jake]

crazy ginger kid that no one likes, puts a show on for children at local parks, pole dances LIKE A BOSS, rolls in grass, has a blow up doll that he does "the nastys" every night well watching videos on the tweeker website ... and gets hit in the face with key boards by "Beth's ".
person 1 - "why is Jake pole dancing LIKE A BOSS"

person 2 - " because Jake is trying to impress little children... "

person 3 - " I always see Jake doing things to himself in the

grass. AWINK "
by HannahKlamann April 11, 2010
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Jake

A half jew douchey fuck from Horseheads, NY thats sports a massive 3.5 inch penis. Never seen without a dip in his mouth and always easy to spot in large crowds because of his enormous schnoz. This species is extremely ugly and may burn your eyeballs.
I saw Jake at the mall today and almost fucking threw up he was so ugly
by ernie kockwood December 30, 2011
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