Skip to main content

Midlife Crisis

Go on and wring my neck
Like when a rag gets wet
A little discipline

For my pet genius

My head is like a lettuce
Go on and dig your thumbs in
I cannot stop giving
I'm thirty-something

Sense of security
Like pockets jingling
Midlife crisis
Suck ingenuity

Down through the family tree
You're perfect, yes, it's true
But without me you're only you
Your menstruating heart
It ain't bleedin' enough for two

It's a midlife crisis
It's a midlife crisis
What an inheritance
The salt and the Kleenex

Morbid self attention
Bending my pinky back

A little discipline
A donor by habit

A little discipline
Rent an opinion
Sense of security
Holding blunt instrument

Midlife crisis
I'm a perfectionist
And perfect is a skinned knee
You're perfect, yes, it's true
But without me you're only you

Your menstruating heart
It ain't bleeding enough for two

(Yeah)

It's a midlife crisis
It's a midlife crisis

You're perfect, yes, it's true (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) but without me you're only you (go on and wring my neck)

Your menstruating heart (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) it ain't bleedin' enough for two

You're perfect, yes, it's true (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) but without me you're only you (go on and wring my neck) (you're only you)
Your menstruating heart (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) it ain't bleedin' enough for two
You're perfect, yes, it's true (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) but without me you're only you (go on and wring my neck) (you're only you)
Your menstruating heart (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) it ain't bleedin' enough for two

You're perfect, yes, it's true (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) but without me you're only you (go on and wring my neck)

Your menstruating heart (go on and wring my neck)
(Like when a rag gets wet) it ain't bleedin' enough for two

Midlife Crisis
by Death Menace July 21, 2023
mugGet the Midlife Crisismug.

Mid-les crisis

The lesbian equivalent of a Midlife Crises. In some cases this can be a femme suddenly deciding to explore their butch side several years too late into a relationship, or vice versa. In nearly all cases it usually involves one half of a couple suddenly deciding to radically change their style and chase after way younger (probably teenaged) girls.

Can be initiated by a "Lesbian Dragon" and will often later be the cause of "FLD".
Everyone agreed that things seemed to be going well between Jaclyn and Lou', then Jaclyn one day started wearing waistcoats and hitting on confused schoolgirls. Her mid-les crisis pretty much killed the relationship overnight.
by bamfstatic January 12, 2011
mugGet the Mid-les crisismug.

Health crisis

We may also be faking a health crisis... Maybe the assburger sex cult thing hit a little too close to home and that's why everyone is so desperate to pretend this isn't happening! Ha!
Hym "Might be faking a health crisis. Telling people not to address me directly."
by Hym Iam February 23, 2023
mugGet the Health crisismug.

Identity crisis

When someone has been pressured to identify themselves, but is not yet self aware, by someone claiming to be an authority.

This often comes up with police trying to get your ID, school wanting to know about family and what you eat for breakfast, politics whating you to side with a party instead of refusing to get involved in party politics and be an issue based voter.

Not to be confused with sexualy orientation by way of identity, social identity in that how you look is not your identity but how other people precieve you and in turn treat you.
I'm a cis gender male and just took a college class notlw I'm having an identity crisis, am I vegan?
by Juncture May 19, 2024
mugGet the Identity crisismug.
.9.you will be too busy taking care of what is in front of you this week to get worked up about what may be going on at a distance. Charity begins at home, so be kind to yourself and find ways to resolve a personal crisis.9.
.9.you will be too busy taking care of what is in front of you this week to get worked up about what may be going on at a distance. Charity begins at home, so be kind to yourself and find ways to resolve a personal crisis.9.
mugGet the .9.You will be too busy taking care of what is in front of you this week to get worked up about what may be going on at a distance. Charity begins at home, so be kind to yourself and find ways to resolve a personal crisis.9.mug.

crisis barnacle

Someones who manufactures a crisis as an excuse to attach themselves to others.
The office crisis barnacle's parasitic grip on the boss tightened with her every phony squeal for help.
by snakeplisskent July 19, 2019
mugGet the crisis barnaclemug.

Mid-shift crisis

Essentially a mid-life crisis, but scaled down in a single work day, where everything is going wrong.
Real life example (for context I work at a restaurant)
Me: "We are out of napkins, the silverware is empty, and a tiny child is running around in the buffet area with no parent to be found. I am having a mid-shift crisis right now."
by EJS_Ethan May 12, 2022
mugGet the Mid-shift crisismug.

Share this definition