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Turtle Sex

When a guy talks up his game, claiming he can hit it hard and fast, but when it comes down to it, fucks no better than a turtle.
Friend 1: "Hey! How was last night?"
Friend 2: "It was absolutely awful! He kept telling me how hard he wanted to fuck me, but then he was like a turtle, moving so slow! There's no other way to explain it besides Turtle Sex."
by snowspy May 8, 2011
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Turtle time

Hey baby, be ready tonight, it’s turtle time.
by Childofthedarklord January 5, 2019
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magic turtle

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.
Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.
by Joshua James December 10, 2006
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titleick

The art of licking grass/dirt/geese poop off your golf ball while getting ready to putt the now clean ball on the green.

Pronounced "Tight-a-Lick"
"Although my ball landed on the green and I was putting for eagle, I had to perform a titleick on my Titleist Pro V-1 to clean off some spunk so it was certain to roll straight"
by JacknRochNY August 23, 2007
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Turtle Waxing

To feel a girls chest, outside of the shirt, replicating the motion of hand washing or waxing a car.
I saw my friend and his girl at the movies last night, and he was totally turtle waxing.
by Chimpski November 3, 2009
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The Awkward Turtle

A sex position in which the woman cocoons herself in a blanket with only her backside sticking out. The man's penis then enters her from behind. A good position while banging an ugly chick.
Paul found Mary very unattractive, but he was horny, so they just did the awkward turtle.
by chemnerd101 September 15, 2009
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turtle curtle

1.) dropping a deuce on somebody's back and forcing that person to crawl around on all fours like a turtle
" i was boinking Greasy Pablo last night and as i finished up i made her do the turtle curtle"
by Strany May 28, 2006
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