Ted

The platypus on the Australian 20 cent piece( commonly called tails)

I call ted

by Notben36364578 November 30, 2018

Ted

Ted can always leg press more than anyone else but can never spell words like "zoo".

"oh hi ted are you leg pressing 600kg"

ted: "yeah I just went to the zo."

by teds secret lover February 24, 2025

Ted

More commonly known as Sped, Tedsticles, or even a combination; Spedsticles, Ted is a midget, obsessed with explosives, aircraft, boats, cars, guns, cannons, overall destroying stuff, and most importantly, Among Us; which he fondly calls: "Amogus"

"Ted's so annoying!"
"That's why we call him Spedsticles you fuckhead"

by HammyShoe July 8, 2024

Ted’s Law

The law that, in generality and absent mitigating circumstances or context, “the fact that you have to say ‘they’re not that bad’ means that they are that bad.”

First published after extensive research into the sexually available women of Boston, MA in the 2012 Seth MacFarlane film Ted, spoken by the eponymous Ted, whom MacFarlane also voiced.

Ted:
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.

John:
That's bullshit. What about Lori? She's hot.

Ted:
No, Lori's from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.

John:
They're not that bad.

Ted:
See, the fact that you have to say "they're not that bad" means that they are that bad.

Guy watching the movie: So that’s where Ted’s Law comes from!

by me.....really May 7, 2021

ted

Ted is just the coolest man ever. He is the type of person to put amongus memes on a school assignment. Everyone loves ted. except for some people.

Person 1: where is ted
Ted: Im here bb

by Stabbingcheetah87 May 31, 2022

Ted Williams Tunnel

When a guy needs to pee, but someone is sitting on the toilet so you go between their legs.

Husband: “Oh babe, you’re on the toilet? I need to pee!”
Wife: “Just Ted Williams Tunnel me!”

by Niki B. January 1, 2022

Ted-ing out

The verb ~Ted-ing out~ is to overthink to extreme lengths, as done by Ted Mosby in the show How I Met Your Mother

Girl 1: What if there's no spaces for the job by tomorrow? I have to get my application in tonight!
Girl 2: Bitch, you're totally Ted-ing out rn, you only found out about the space this morning.
Girl 1: Slut tf does "Ted-ing out" mean

by not.beanie July 30, 2023