Sod's Logic

The use of Sod's Law to one's own advantage.

Used Sod's Logic today. Really didn't want it to rain on my picnic today, so I brought an umbrella with me.
OR
I really want this person I fancy at work to talk to me. Today I didn't wash, do my hair or wear clean clothes and I'm hungover. 99% guaranteed today's the day they start speaking to me.

by @LockyMcLocky July 1, 2016

Timanese Logic

Believing that shit is true, even when you know it isn't.

Blub, if you retire at 45, you'll be dead by 65 but if you work until you're 70, you'll live until 90 bud! This is Timanese Logic.

by 1/2 a fuck not given October 25, 2019

Customer Logic

Throwing all reasoning out the window and being the stupidest fucking moron you can humanly be.

It operates under three basic principles:

1. Complete lack of accountability (even actively refusing to take any)
2. Complete lack of empathy (i.e. sociopathic behavior)
3. Unwarranted self importance (i.e. severe narcissism)

Formal logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: if you park on No Parkin areas, you get a parking ticket.

Customer logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: OMG IT WAS JUST A FUCKING MINUTE I WILL GO TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS TO DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER AND ASK FOR FREE LATTES FOR LIFE BECAUSE THEY SHOULD'VE TOTALLY WARNED ME ABOUT IT AND WILL SUE EVERYONE BECAUSE MY PARKING TICKET IS EVERYBODY ELSE'S FAULT.

by MrDanteSesma December 16, 2019

Common logic

Something obvious

It’s common logic that the sky is blue

by Mr.Bek April 7, 2022

pouya logic

An absurd logical device that can bridge the gap between any two logically inconsistent ideas. Widely regarded as the most significant development in formal logic since Aristotle’s term logic.

It’s on the way. Pouya logic.

by magniloquus June 25, 2022

Cowboy Logic

Logic used by those who are anti-intellectual

Cowboy logic says that I shouldn't have to pay taxes for schools that will indoctrinate our kids against the jebus.

by Rex Hamilton October 24, 2007

spatial logic

Logic for people who don't like logic. Kind of like computer logic, only more stupid stuff that no one uses.

I do spatial logic puzzles so I have no friends.

by C. Frey July 12, 2006