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Canada's History

A sex act between three or more males and a female. It can only be performed properly behind a Tim Hortons.

The woman sits in an empty kiddie pool dressed as a lumberjack and the men surround and pour maple syrup over her while removing her clothing using only hockey sticks.

After the woman is nude, the men position themselves such that no less than two penises are in her anus, which is lubricated with maple syrup. The third man forces Canadian bacon down her throat. Any additional men would take turns with the anal sex.

After several sticky minutes of butt loving and "bacon" then men circle the pool and urinate while being fellated.

When the men each about to ejaculate, they take turns dumping their loads in her syrupy anus and then make a line to suck the sweet shit-cum out and pass it to each other mouth to mouth all the way down the line and then to the woman, who gargles it to the tune of the Canadian national anthem then swallows.

If a moose is available it is also fellated by the woman.
Canada's History is a part of a typical day in Quebec.
by CHansen February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A notoriously gruesome sexual act, most commonly performed in the Pacific Northwest of the United States. This involves the male filling every possible oriphis of the woman, including the anus, oral cavity, vagina (or "beaver" if you prefer), and additionally the nasal cavaties and at least one earhole. Obviously, the penis and tongue are not enough to satisfy these requirements in most cases, so foreign objects are used as needed. These objects include, but are not limited to: pencils, pens, glue sticks, moose antlers, pine boughs, dildoes, hockey sticks, vegetables, and assorted trophies. The term "Canada's History" has several recognized origins. One theory is that when the entire population of extremely polite people of Earth migrated to Canada in the year 47 A.D., this was the predominant method of sexual intercourse. The more accepted theory, however, is related to the strange phenomenon associated with "Canada's History": both partners spontaneously begin singing the Canadian National Anthem upon reaching orgasm.
"Canada's History... it involves moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup." - Stephen Colbert
by Monte Valentine February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

The sexual act of pleasuring one's partner with a pair of moose antlers, while defecating on their face after having consumed a gallon of maple syrup.
I tried "Canada's History" with her last night, it was shitty.
by stoogel February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A BSL-4 sex act between D-9 shrimp aliens, bears, and moonbats (republicans). Coprophilia, anal firetrucks, and sperm discus follow 45 minutes of feltching foreplay. License required.
Ya dude. Christopher got all Canada's History on Smokey and Mitch McConnell.
by gels 23 February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

When two hermaphrodites drink a bottle of maple syrup and take turns jamming a moose antler in each others asses and shitting in each others mouths. After the shit and syrup has had time to mix in their stomach they gag each other with the moose antler and puke the shit syrup mush into the Stanely Cup.
My brother tricked me into watching a video of Canada's History.
by stevecolbert February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

Please do not mistake this with "Canada's Herstory"...

"Canada's History" is known as one of the highest rituals among men in that country.Atleast two men must be present for this classic competition. Directions: Make sure to lube that anus with some Maple syrup, you're going to need it. First one make male begins to perform oral sex on another. As soon as the second male is about to reach his climax, he will then turn to shoot it into the Stanley Cup. The Stanley cup is raised in the air, preferably on a coffee table. The height of which his jizz lands on the cup determines how far he must take a moose antler up the ass from the previous participant. It then repeats reversing roles. The person to get it in the cup first wins.
"Don't tell my wife about Canada's History tonight"
by Charlie Fellowship February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

..Waking up after a night in the woods, finding yourself naked next to a very large bear and having your ass REALLY hurt..
What a night... It was like it was Canada's History
by Wassem February 4, 2010
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