Ted

The most Handsome man you will ever meet . Trustworthy and Kind to everyone. He gets along well with both Sexes
And is smart but can be silly at some times. A determined person who will never stop doing what's right . In a relationship he will always pamper his partner properly. Overall he is a fab person and if you meet a hunk like Ted definitely be friends. TEDS ARE SO (HOT)

Person 1 " whoa that boy is fit"
Person 2 " Damn that must be a Ted"

by Teds Girlfriends August 1, 2019

Ted

Person that is a dickhead, wanker or just a shitty type of person

That blokes a right Ted!

Kick him out he’s being a Ted

by Sketchypunx May 26, 2022

Ted-Phobic

An extreme fear of the name Ted, hearing the name or seeing someone with the name Ted can cause severe cases of dry lips, anemia, bleeding from the anus or a severe sexual desire to be anally penetrated leading to anal bleeding.

Ty: holy shit is that Ted?
Jack: fuck, I think my lips are getting dry
Sam: NOOOOOOOOOO, I NEED ANAL NOW
James: I think I'm shitting blood
Gavin: Wow that's so Ted-Phobic

by TedHate43 September 3, 2025

Ted’s Mom

1. Any mom of a friend of yours that is just bangin’. A real cougar of a woman after college cock and is always down for some DP with some college studs. When she orgasms, it’s like an earthquake of shaking followed by a flash flood from her squirting puss juice.

2. Any milf that is your friend’s mom that is always wanting to fuck frat boys.

1. Chad: Bro why is the floor so wet?

Brad: Do you remember that smoking hot mom that came down the other day? Yeah, Tyler and just got done with her. She’s such a Ted’s Mom.

2. Frat boy: Yo, the mom of that new pledge keeps eye-fucking me bro, I bet she’s a real Ted’s Mom!

by Pikeyjuan69 November 24, 2021

Hey, Senator Ted Cruz

If raping women and children is bad why are you covering up the Epstein files? To protect the women who were raped from... Getting justice? Why are the US army member raping the female soldiers all the time and then having it covered up? If heard plenty of stories doing that? You ever think maybe you should spend less time pre-criming people who haven't raped anyone yet and ALSO LESS TIME covering up the rapes that actually occur?

Hym "Hey, Senator Ted Cruz... God said in leviticus that is you rape a woman you have to take her as a wife... I know polygamy is haram but if I rape 2 what am I supposed to do with the second one? How long do you expect vapid statements about the morality of rape and child murder to placate the masses and detract from the fact that you're letting the Jews commit a genocide, but, only the Jews and how do you feel about the fact that I (Hymon Iamon) haven't done or said anything that God hasn't done or said and is basically super Hitler? Is it dope? I'm God-Like! Both God-Like and Christ-Like! I'm like I'm like Super Omega God-Jesus Supreme!"

by Hym Iam June 9, 2025

Ted Nungent

Great guitarist

Ted Nungent is a great guitarist, fight me

by UltimateDoge June 4, 2023

Cousin Ted

Cousin Ted is just your cousin, and there is nothing wrong with him. Sure, he may be an extremely skinny creature with pale white skin and hundreds of tiny sharp teeth that only shows up at your window after he prowls around the outside of your house at night but I assure you nothing is wrong with him. He's just your good old cousin Ted who has with five small black beady eyes and an unstoppable urge to scoop out your kidneys after you fall asleep from his foul black viscous "sleep inducing saliva", but don't worry. He's just your cousin Ted, and he may or may not make you watch him eat your kidneys as you slowly die from his attack. Again, there is nothing wrong with "cousin Ted".

Little girl: mom where did timmy go?

Her mom: Cousin Ted was feeling rather peckish.

by Mr. Shog December 9, 2022