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Stretched Ham

A gaping anus. Achieved through fisting or sexual penetration with a girthy cock or sex toy. See gaping.
Rachel had some stretched ham when I left last night.

Cathy is really into fisting. She loves the full feeling and a good stretched ham.
by Eaton Holgoode February 4, 2018
mugGet the Stretched Hammug.

Laser-Ham

Dear god, if you're looking this up it may already be too late for you. They are the dark ones, the decimators, the destroyers of civilization. The only actual sighting of them has reported them to look like abnormally large pieces of ham with glowing red eyes, who can shoot lasers strong enough to cut through anything. It's believed that the Bermuda Triangle is actually a den to these creatures, and the triangle is formed by three stationed hams firing lasers. They are commonly reported at redacted but seem to disappear by the time anybody arrives. One citizen who claims to have seen the Laser-Hams claimed that they were ruled by an "AbraHAM Lincoln", an Abraham Lincoln who much resembles our own, but instead has a piece of ham around his right eye, which is replaced with a glowing crimson one. It is not proven true or false if this entity exists yet.
Doomed person 1: "Dear god, the Laser-Ham, they're coming!"
Doomed person 2: "What's that? Are you insane?"
*Laser sounds and screaming of doom*
by The Drawer Goblin February 28, 2021
mugGet the Laser-Hammug.

ham chandelier

What The lips of the vagina are called after they have been irritated from such things as bike riding or riding a mechanical bull for long periods.
Is your ham chandelier upset because of your spin class?
by T2216639 November 13, 2016
mugGet the ham chandeliermug.

ham darts

It’s like regular darts but the dart board is a ham
Hey, are you up for a game of ham darts tonight?
by francis the mule May 22, 2022
mugGet the ham dartsmug.

Jam the ham

"Think Sarah's jamming the ham in there" "Gonna jam the ham tonight with Sarah"
by DaddyChungus October 27, 2019
mugGet the Jam the hammug.

ham picnic

When you go on a picnic with you half-sibling intending to enjoy a delicious lunch of ham and other picnic staples, but it careens off-course into an incestuous encounter that is still punctuated with a delicious ham.
After visiting their family, the two half-siblings left for the park to enjoy their spontaneous ham picnic.
by Big Papa 19 April 25, 2017
mugGet the ham picnicmug.

Peeled hams

The act of pulling buttocks cheeks for various acts, such as defecating, anal penetration or voyeurism. Term coined in 2021 by Roger Verdon
He squated down, peeled hams and poo'd on the floor
by ROGIEV March 11, 2022
mugGet the Peeled hamsmug.

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