retarded monkey fuck

Someone who constantly repeats the same lame joke they've already told you 3,000 million times before, expecting that the 3,001 millionth time you're bound to laugh.

Retarded Monkey Fuck: Hey, what's brown and sticky?
Other Guy: I don't know, jackass. Why don't you tell me?
Retarded Monkey Fuck: A stick! Haha!
Other Guy: I'm so glad I have zoloft...

by Gerbilweebies April 29, 2005

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a monkey fucking a football

The first time I ever heard this saying was on a construction site where I continued to hear it quite regularly. Basically it means fucking something up. Trying to do something that may require a little bit of skill,experience or coordination and fumbling around with it and not getting it right. Picture a monkey all excited trying to get a hold of a football so he could hump it.

When my wife was trying to change her wiper blades she looked like a monkey fucking a football.

by Mr Gianormanutz February 12, 2009

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workplace monkey mind

Slang term describing the distracted state of mind that can occur at work when you should be focusing on the task at hand but you are only getting sidetracked into other non-workplace thoughts that are much more enjoyable.

Knowing I had a rapidly approaching deadline, I repeatedly attempted to focus myself on the project but a serious case of workplace monkey mind was making this entirely impossible!

by Dr Bunnygirl October 15, 2019

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Spank Ze Monkey

A game in which two men (not gay) jerk each other off vigorously until one blows his load. After the winner may choose to call the guy a faggot and blow his load onto his face.

Dude me and gouch were playing Spank Ze Monkey yesterday and i totally fucking lost! He blew his load onto my eye and called me a faggot, humiliating as shit.

by purpleslingeryo July 8, 2011

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