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An absolute fucking retard

you
by boobsburp March 24, 2025
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Absolute Carrot

An Absolute Carrot is someone who isn't completely tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant; yet is just tone-deaf, stupid, and arrogant enough to be agitating to others around them. These types of people are just discrete enough to the point where most people who actually interact with them understand they are deeply flawed, however, everyone else thinks that they are a great guy.
Mike: I have no clue why everyone invited Steven to come to Applebees with us, he told a 9/11 joke to the waitress.
Jeremy: Did he really do that? On September 10th? What an Absolute Carrot!
by EliTried December 21, 2021
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absolute gronk

Norman was an absolute gronk for hoarding all the idlis
by YaboyPK123 July 7, 2023
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Absolute ballshit

An act of unfairness and unpredictability
That’s absolute ballshit! FGR should have won again. Instead FGR decided to hit the woodwork, miss 1 on 1’s and lose
by BURYAREBASTARDS January 20, 2019
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Absolute Krusty

The act wherein the male ejaculates onto his partners hair while they sleep, resulting in a spiky and crispy hairdo that resembles the one worn by The Simpsons character Krusty The Clown.
"Doris looks rough today Keith, did you slip her an Absolute Krusty last night?.."
by Robbie Carton Comedian July 28, 2022
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Absolute unit

Basically an absolute unit is often used to describe someone who is larger but in the case of the Irish that’s not what it means. An absolute unit is just an idiot or someone who lets a lot get in the way of them.
“Ayo, you’re an absolute unit you are mun”
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Absolute faggotry

When someone is being so gay they become straight then gay again
Anyone who uses a shotgun I call of duty shows absolute faggotry
by Everduse July 18, 2025
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