Unicycle Johnson

Used during roller hockey games. When a player on skates is not looking, an opposing player comes up from behind and sticks the blade of his stick between his legs and hits him in the balls. The player then proceeds to drag the unwilling recipient as far as he can on skates.
Billy didn't like the way Tom was playing in the hockey game, so he gave Tom a unicycle Johnson during a time out and Tom hasn't played since.
by Bryan McCabe February 25, 2006
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Owen Johnson

A loud and obnoxious man, Owen Johnson can be found shouting out things like "LITTLE MANNN" and "IT'S WEDGE'S BIRTHDAY!" between mouthfulls of cake, political debates and un-comformable anti-religious beliefs. His motivation to do well in life is based upon the fact that he resides in the county slum, aka Tonyrefail, thus his schoolwork is immaculately presented and is well received by his teachers, and love is felt towards them by Owen, apart from Mrs Goodridge whom he has a distaste for due to the resentment felt towards Owen after discovering that he is a homophobe. Although Owen's stomach sticks out as much as a rucksack carried by an Afghan in an American airport, Owen is a lovely boy and can be extremely attentive and caring, once asking me "yow orait". His lack of a belt - which reveals his neatly manicured and shaved arsehole - is compensated for by his beautiful smile. Owen is a gorgeous boy and will succeed in his life which will unfortunately be cut short, due to a high possibility of developing heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes or a heart attack.
"I did an Owen Johnson last night"
"What?! You revised for 7 hours straight?"
by Mark Greenberg May 15, 2018
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johnson’s baby

Someone in a work environment who bursts into tears at any moment of the slightest confrontation.
Relates to Johnson’s “no more tears shampoo
What is up with Johnson’s baby now?
- Oh, I️ told her I️ couldn’t help her out with a spare bottle of stoli!
- FFS! Again?
by Staifreak March 13, 2018
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ED johnson

Erectilly Disfunctional penis.
I tried to fuck Sally, but, I drank so much that I got an ED johnson.
by Jack Bozdog June 07, 2006
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Shawn Johnson

A extremely cute and adorable American artistic gymnast, won many medals in Beijing, lives in west des Moines, Iowa.
omg shawn johnson is on tv, she is mah wafi.

by omgshesmawafi August 25, 2008
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Gus Johnson

The greatest Sportscaster of all-time. Should be on Sportcenter, With Neil Everett.
"ELEVATE, YOUNG MAN!"
"They Spot the Rock, on the Forty yardline"
"FEET DON'T FAIL ME NOW!!"
"MOUNTAIN TOP!"
"GET THIS MAN A NEW CONTRACT!"

-Gus Johnson
by Angryfarmer April 01, 2011
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Jig Johnson

Jig John for short, is a discreet way in which to reference illegal drugs, usually marijuana.
"Hey man, let's go see ol' Jig Johnson."

"Groovy, man."
by Capt. Commy July 11, 2008
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