Guy 1: I met this girl last night and gave her the good ol Colorado Snapping Turtle
Guy 2: Lucky! My girl won’t let me do it.
Guy 2: Lucky! My girl won’t let me do it.
by SexcMannn September 18, 2021
Get the Colorado Snapping Turtle mug.Young voices of Colorado is a fairly terrible choir housed by depressed children. Especially the signature gorls as they are yelled at daily.
Young Voices of Colorado taught me many life lessons such as bottling up your breakdowns until you are physically incapable of emotion.
by MavenLives August 5, 2021
Get the Young Voices of Colorado mug.by Garysmattresses February 25, 2022
Get the Colorado mug.When you’re fucking her in the ass and she farts on your dick just as you explode in her hole. This can leave a bit of a mess.
John: My girlfriend gave me a Colorado Slushie last night.
Alex: That must have been messy as hell.
John: Yeah, but I made her lick it up.
Alex: That must have been messy as hell.
John: Yeah, but I made her lick it up.
by I'm watching animaniacs February 26, 2022
Get the Colorado Slushie mug.(This concept was originated in Colorado and debuted in Chicago)
As you are performing coitus in the doggie position on your lover's birthday (or anytime really) - Step 1. Light a candle and stick it into a cupcake -- Have at ready! Step 2. Slowly and gently bring the cupcake forward towards your partner's view. Step 3. Sweetly whisper 'Happy birthday' in your partner's ear. Step 4. (now this is the tricky part and takes precision timing) As you conclude your birthday whisper, swiftly remove your penis from your partner's vagina and abruptly insert it into the anus and provide one muscular thrust inward (trap ALL that air!). CRITICAL STEP!! - Once she rears back in shock from the surprise birthday entry, strategically position the cupcake WITH lit candle directly in-line of the beehole while simultaneously plungering your schwantz out with great torque, friction, and quickness for the best airy effect (chef's kiss). If done correctly and the timing is just right, this will extinguish the candle's flame all in one assertive, swiveling exit.
Now to Step 5 - At this point, your birthday girl may have thought the surprise was over -- but oh no. Step 5. After the candle has been properly extinguished, bring the cupcake back to your lover's view to make a wish! Step 6. As the wish is being verbally shared, begin to sensually smear the cupcake all over her face while singing 'Happy birthday to you....happy birthday to youuuuu...' ---- She'll never forget it! :)
As you are performing coitus in the doggie position on your lover's birthday (or anytime really) - Step 1. Light a candle and stick it into a cupcake -- Have at ready! Step 2. Slowly and gently bring the cupcake forward towards your partner's view. Step 3. Sweetly whisper 'Happy birthday' in your partner's ear. Step 4. (now this is the tricky part and takes precision timing) As you conclude your birthday whisper, swiftly remove your penis from your partner's vagina and abruptly insert it into the anus and provide one muscular thrust inward (trap ALL that air!). CRITICAL STEP!! - Once she rears back in shock from the surprise birthday entry, strategically position the cupcake WITH lit candle directly in-line of the beehole while simultaneously plungering your schwantz out with great torque, friction, and quickness for the best airy effect (chef's kiss). If done correctly and the timing is just right, this will extinguish the candle's flame all in one assertive, swiveling exit.
Now to Step 5 - At this point, your birthday girl may have thought the surprise was over -- but oh no. Step 5. After the candle has been properly extinguished, bring the cupcake back to your lover's view to make a wish! Step 6. As the wish is being verbally shared, begin to sensually smear the cupcake all over her face while singing 'Happy birthday to you....happy birthday to youuuuu...' ---- She'll never forget it! :)
My special lady, Betty, got the quiverjibbles after I laid a perfect Colorado Birthday surprise on her!
by horsetrough hank November 21, 2024
Get the Colorado Birthday mug.When your girl is eating your ass and you shart on her face getting the little specks of shit on her. Batteries not included.
Hailey: "OMG you won't believe it last night I hooked up with Hunter and he gave me a Colorado Mud Trumpet! It was awesome!!"
by AvalancheFan007 December 20, 2024
Get the Colorado Mud Trumpet mug.When you go to a conference thousand’s of miles away… and you happen to go with two attractive ladies… after the first day is done, you and the two ladies agree to have dinner and drinks. One thing leads to another and the suggestion is made to go to the hot tub. So everyone goes to their hotel room to change. Colorado Matt is feeling great believes a fun night is ahead. So Colorado Matt changes into his bathing suit and just before exiting the room, he takes two viagra’s. All parties then convene at the hotel’s hot tub. Drinks are had and after a few hours, both of those attractive girls thank Matt for a fun time but state that they have to leave for the night. Colorado Matt, fully torqued.. realizes that he has a big problem, he’s alone for the night….without taking a load off. It’s now approaching 11pm and the security guard for the hotel approaches Matt and says, “hey buddy, I’m turning off the jets.” Matt then realizes that his towel is across the pool area, and in order to get over to his towel… he has to get out of the hot tub, fully torqued, and walk over to his towel. What started off as a fun night… led to a torqued night without the ability to release. That is the story of Colorado Matt.
Dude, I got Colorado Matt’ed when I was in Florida at this conference. I was so torqued but couldn’t go to bed for hours.
Brodie, how was your conference? Dude, I got Colorado Matt’ed. I thought I was in!! Little did I know that I would be closing the bar out by myself. I still have a great time though.
Brodie, how was your conference? Dude, I got Colorado Matt’ed. I thought I was in!! Little did I know that I would be closing the bar out by myself. I still have a great time though.
by Torqued Matt June 25, 2025
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