Confirmation Objectivity Bias

The sneaky belief that your conclusions are objectively true because you arrived at them through what feels like rigorous logic, when in reality you simply curated evidence that supported what you already wanted to believe. It's objectivity-flavored confirmation bias. You don't just seek confirming evidence—you convince yourself that the confirming evidence represents the true, unbiased reality, while dismissing disconfirming evidence as tainted by other people's bias. The more intelligent you are, the better you get at building elaborate rationalizations for why your preferred outcome is actually the "objective" one.

"I've objectively reviewed both candidates and determined mine is clearly superior," she announced, having only watched videos that confirmed her pre-existing views. Confirmation Objectivity Bias: when your conclusion was never in doubt but your ego demands the appearance of fairness.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

Absolute Objectivity Bias

The delusional belief that pure, perspective-free, God's-eye-view objectivity is not only possible but something you personally have achieved. It's the epistemological equivalent of claiming you can levitate. The Absolutist doesn't just think they're right—they think they've transcended the very condition of having a perspective. Their opinions aren't opinions; they're just reality reporting itself through them. This bias is most common in people who have never seriously studied philosophy, neuroscience, or any field that might humble their certainty about certainty.

"I don't have opinions, I just have facts," said the man whose "facts" aligned perfectly with his political tribe's talking points. Absolute Objectivity Bias: mistaking your worldview for the world.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

Relative Objectivity Bias

The comfortable middle-ground fallacy that truth is simply whatever emerges from averaging all available perspectives. It's objectivity via committee. The Relativist assumes that if you gather enough different viewpoints and split the difference, you'll naturally arrive at something approximating truth. This ignores that some perspectives are more informed than others, some are actively malicious, and the average of many wrongs rarely makes a right. It's the bias of people who think both sides in every debate are equally valid and the truth must live peacefully somewhere in the no-man's-land between them.

"One scientist says climate change is an existential crisis, one random guy on Facebook says it's a hoax—the objective truth is probably somewhere in the middle!" Congratulations, you've discovered Relative Objectivity Bias: mistaking intellectual cowardice for wisdom.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

Dunning-Kruger Objectivity Bias

A meta-bias where people with the least expertise in a subject are the most confident that their perspective is the unbiased, objective one. Because they don't know enough to understand what they don't know, they mistake their own ignorance for a clean, uncontaminated vantage point. Experts, weighed down by complexity and nuance, seem "biased" to them precisely because experts acknowledge uncertainty and competing interpretations. The Dunning-Kruger Objectivist believes their empty cup is actually the clearest lens.

"I'm not a historian, so I can look at this war objectively without all that academic bias," tweeted a guy who learned about the conflict from a viral meme. Dunning-Kruger Objectivity Bias: when ignorance cosplays as clarity.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

Specialized Objectivity Bias

The tendency to believe that deep expertise in one narrow field grants you objective authority on topics far outside that field. The physicist who speaks with unwarranted confidence about economics. The surgeon who thinks their medical training makes them an authority on education policy. The programmer who believes logical thinking in code transfers directly to understanding human relationships. Specialization creates genuine insight in a tiny domain, but the bias lies in assuming that insight generalizes—that the habits of mind that work in your corner of reality somehow make you immune to bias everywhere else.

"As a tenured professor of chemistry, let me explain why this public health policy is obviously wrong," he began, unaware that his Specialized Objectivity Bias was about to embarrass him in front of epidemiologists.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

Logical Objectivity Bias

The belief that formal logic alone can deliver you to objective truth, independent of messy empirical reality or human context. It's the bias of people who think they can reason their way to correct conclusions about the world without actually checking the world. If the premises are wrong, the logic can be flawless and the conclusion still garbage. But the Logical Objectivist is so enchanted by the beauty of their reasoning that they forget to question whether their starting assumptions correspond to anything real. They're not wrong logically—they're just wrong about reality.

"Logically, if all poor people just worked harder, poverty would disappear," he announced, having never met a poor person or checked any economic data. Logical Objectivity Bias: when the argument is valid but the conclusion is still nonsense.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026

General Objectivity Bias

The assumption that objectivity is a single, unified thing—a muscle you can strengthen and then apply uniformly across all domains. The General Objectivist thinks that being objective about, say, sports statistics means they're automatically objective about politics, relationships, or their own motivations. They treat objectivity as a character trait rather than a painful, domain-specific discipline that requires constant relearning. This bias lets them feel like Objective People™ without doing the actual work of questioning themselves in areas where it might hurt.

"I'm an objective person—I call balls and strikes in my fantasy football league," he said, moments before explaining why his childhood trauma definitely has nothing to do with his current relationship problems. General Objectivity Bias: mistaking one skill for all skills.

by Abzugal Nammugal Enkigal February 22, 2026