almost rape

When some creepy guy almost sticks it in your butt, but by some divine intervention your mom runs out into the backyard just in time to save your precious assholes virginity.

I know a guy named Miles who got almost raped.

by Aydes February 17, 2008

almond-joy

When a person changes the game on you. When a person "flips the script".
After a constant and profuse malevolent activity, the person changes, for no apparent reason.

"Say white boy, ima tel ya bout da game, and why you cant eva neva eva trust a crackhead"
"All right my friend" Please explain"
"Almond joy, dats all ya need to know"
"Almond joy??" *bewildered, glazed over look*
"Dat's right, gotdam cracka, ALMOND JOY!" "Cuz you neva know what a mufuka basehead guna do" "Sumtimz dey feel lika nut, sumtims dey dont, Ya heard?!"

by Saltine Cracker August 9, 2004

Almond Mom

a karen mom who only eats almonds, as soon as you walk into her house all there is, is almond based everything, its like a crazy vegan karen bt they only eat almonds and only drink almond water and milk

Friend: "Why do you only ever eat almonds and drink almond milk?"
Kid: "Because that's all my mom lets me have"
Friend: "Dang, that must suck having a crazy almond mom"
Kid: "Yeah, it does"

by Lettuce_Lady October 23, 2022

almostaben

A gay or Bi guy who has'nt "come out of the closet" about being gay.

look at Bob flirt with bobby, hes a almostaben

by Big noo noo March 23, 2007

Almost Threesome

When you walk in on two people having sex and they think you're there to join in.

The guest bathroom was locked, so I had to use one in the master bedroom, I walked in and found myself in an almost threesome.

by LoLo4 March 16, 2010

almost a roast

When you mess up your roast

"Dude be peanut butter and jelly."
"You mean jealous"

That was almost a roast

by Bigtasty153 January 21, 2016

almost cared

Almost gave a fuck

Woman Starts talking about her long boring day with her friends.

Man: Oh I almost cared

by Wxo June 22, 2016