A colloquial term for an arborist from upstate NY or other back woods place who employs felons, particularly, registered sex offenders.
He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.
Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.
He first verifies that they are indeed registered sex offenders - or at a minimum convicted felon - and then he gives them unsupervised access to chainsaws and wood chippers. Sometimes accidents happen and there end up fewer felons than they started with, so it's not all bad.
Other times - well, felons with chainsaw... The possibilities are endless, and some aren't so great.
Bro "Brah, where can I get a job? I just I'm on parole, so nobody's gonna hire me."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."
Brah "Bro, go work for Felon's Tree Removal. They'll hire ya. They literally only hire felons."
Bro "Nah, Bra, they won't let me do anything. I'm a felon."
Bra "The hell they won't! You'll get your own chainsaw, wood chipper, shit, you'll probably get your own shotgun to protect you from choopacobras and parole officers."
by Double take July 10, 2025
Get the Felon's Tree Removal mug.An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.
Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
by Double take July 10, 2025
Get the Fellon's Tree Removal mug.An arborist company that hires felons to come to your house and trim your bushes. They charge extra to cut trees but will trim your bush for free.
Becky "I was going to hire Felons Tree Removal to trim the trees at my house. You think they're any good?"
Lateesha "Bitch, I don need no felons trimin' my bush!"
Lateesha "Bitch, I don need no felons trimin' my bush!"
by SuperWordNerd July 10, 2025
Get the Felons Tree Removal mug.The controversial and taboo practice of eating cats.
While widely considered shocking or disgusting in many cultures, felinivory has been historically practiced in some parts of Asia. Today, it’s rare and often illegal. The term sometimes pops up in survival stories or extreme food challenges. It’s a nasty and disgusting thing btw
While widely considered shocking or disgusting in many cultures, felinivory has been historically practiced in some parts of Asia. Today, it’s rare and often illegal. The term sometimes pops up in survival stories or extreme food challenges. It’s a nasty and disgusting thing btw
“That Korean kid at school eats cat meat, this is called Felinivory, it is usually a thing in China, Taiwan and Korea, y’all should stay away from him if you’re an ailurophile”
“Idk what you’re talking about — cunnilingus or felinivory? Either way, it’s nasty as hell.”
“Idk what you’re talking about — cunnilingus or felinivory? Either way, it’s nasty as hell.”
by EMD F59PHI July 12, 2025
Get the Felinivory mug.A tree trimming service from Chazy NY who hires felons - preferably registered sex offenders - to trim your bushes and peep in your windows.
Felon's Tree Removal does a great job as long as you don't mind rapists and murders peeping in your windows and casing the joint.
by Read it! July 14, 2025
Get the Felon's Tree Removal mug.Damn dawg i have to go home i kinda got a mad felix right now and i dont wanna expose you to the smell
by Goonerlover09 July 16, 2025
Get the Felix mug.The scientific name for 69 otherwise known as fellatio and cunnilingus combined. When 2 heterosexual people have sex, and put mouths on one another’s genitals, licking and or sucking on them for pleasure.
Probably the best sex move if you haven’t tried it. I would say, as someone who has lots of sex, all of the time. So much sex it would blow your mind, seriously. Definitely more sex than you. Totally not a virgin
Probably the best sex move if you haven’t tried it. I would say, as someone who has lots of sex, all of the time. So much sex it would blow your mind, seriously. Definitely more sex than you. Totally not a virgin
“ When my boyfriend and I 69, we like to call it fellatilingus”
“I prefer it when he’s on top when we do fellatilingus so he can throat fuck me and I don’t have to do the work”
“I’m going to make you squirt so hard when we fellatilingus tonight”
“I prefer it when he’s on top when we do fellatilingus so he can throat fuck me and I don’t have to do the work”
“I’m going to make you squirt so hard when we fellatilingus tonight”
by Smellypoopies July 24, 2025
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