Johned

To mess up frequently in cases particularity to spelling, grammar, and attracting females.

Guy #1: Look at that guy, he just got denied by that girl.
Guy #2: Ya, he totally johned up.

by Monica Marcone April 6, 2017

Ray Johns

Smooth ; when something just works perfectly

I was Ray Johns when I was getting that girls number

by Thunderous 1 April 15, 2017

john bates

That one football coach who knows it all, four-eyed little prick who always acts like it's his way or the high way in order to hide the fact that's he's never had a date in his life. All around your typically douchebag.

That guy is acting like a real John Bates, what a dick!

by Mrs John Bates April 17, 2017

John Madden

John Madden is a Football Coach And also God of the Moon. Nasa's Free online meme game Moonbase Alpha Made him into a legend and the moon people sing various Songs about him while depicting him as their God.

:nhI'm gonna eat a pizza. :dial67589340 Hi, can i order a pizza? :nvno! :nhwhy? :nv cuz you are john madden!:np
Translate:
John: Im gonna eat a pizza *dials number* hi, can i order a pizza?

Woman: No!

John: Why?

Woman: Cuz you are John madden

by Moonbase Alpharian April 27, 2017

corey john

A sweetheart of a guy who can light up anyone's day.. Has an amazing head on his shoulders (shoulders which tend to be ridiculously perfect) A health conscious individual, Corey takes care of himself physically and as a result has a very sexy body. He's a handsome man with determination and drive, highly intelligent, a good sense of humor, easy going and carefree, easy to talk to, and full of optimism!

He's basically every girls dream guy and more

His weaknesses consist of: cheese, late night snacking, treading over his own feet, and speeding.

you're lucky you found a Corey John

by Islek sregdor May 6, 2017

Johned

To be completely and utterly obliterated, typically by way of an incredibly forceful skull fucking.

Holy shit man, Eric just got fucking Johned into pink mist!

Person #1: Did you see that Johnning last night?
Person #2: Yeah dude, I haven't seen somebody get Johned like that since Brad got his eyeball ripped out and the empty socket fucked with a 12-incher.

by SleepySap May 8, 2017

The John Cena Affect

The time when you start to like the first person you meet on a dating app and it feels like you just got RKOed by John Cena

Home Boy: Omg, In in love with this girl I found on eHarmony!

Me: Mhm, when did you talk to her

Home Boy: Yesterday

Me: You just got hit with the John Cena Affect

by Whale_Boss69 May 9, 2017