Probably one of the funniest commentators ever to exist on this planet.

Known for repeating himself multiple times in one sentence.
Now what we're seeing here is a definition that you're reading, which is an act that you only can do while reading with your eyes, which isn't like reading with your hands. If you read with your hands, you're not really reading because reading requires the use of your eyes which aren't on your hands because they're your hands, that is unless you're blind and have some kind of newflangled brailler attachment, in which case you WOULD be reading with your hands instead of your eyes. Anyway, here you are reading this definition that's being read with your eyes and not your hands, and it's about John Madden. Now this John Madden guy, he's not like other guys, because if he was he'd be them, which isn't what he is because he's him, he's John Madden. If he was another guy, then he'd be Tony Siragusa, or Troy Aikman, who reads with his hands and talks with his ass which is on his neck which acts like a face which it's not because he's not John Madden.
by Guschdas October 26, 2007
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VERB---- To speak the obvious
"It's raining" Thanks for the John Madden forecast because the water falling from the sky didn't already give it away.
by Robbie Quivey July 10, 2008
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An extremely old dude who, when talking, sounds like someone is squeezing his stomach. This guy is the human form of the game of football. He eats, sleeps, and drinks football. BOOM! Look at a video game case or monday night football and you'll see this man happy and smiling because he is football!!!
Look at him! It's John Madden, he's so old but happy...I wish we could play a game of football with him, but he might go insane or explode or something.
by knowledgeman October 04, 2006
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Boom, another Boom, and another Boom!
John Madden: "....erhagaheghagergha, and BOOM! erhgagharhgaaghara.."
by JMlovaah May 14, 2008
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A measurement of how mad someone is.
1) From one to John Madden, how mad are you?
2) Steven is so John Madden right now, don't even talk to him.
by Blarghff November 27, 2013
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Football is his life. He is the most american man there will ever be, and you should not disrespect the man. He is football, and football is him.

And he does not jump on team bandwagons, it's his job to love every team.
"Football is my Life. I don't know what I would do without it"
- John Madden
by I hate Ignorant people July 30, 2006
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Boy : Hello John Madden
John Madden : FOOTBALL!!! *while waves hands in face*
by Doom November 28, 2003
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