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Probably one of the funniest commentators ever to exist on this planet.

Known for repeating himself multiple times in one sentence.
Now what we're seeing here is a definition that you're reading, which is an act that you only can do while reading with your eyes, which isn't like reading with your hands. If you read with your hands, you're not really reading because reading requires the use of your eyes which aren't on your hands because they're your hands, that is unless you're blind and have some kind of newflangled brailler attachment, in which case you WOULD be reading with your hands instead of your eyes. Anyway, here you are reading this definition that's being read with your eyes and not your hands, and it's about John Madden. Now this John Madden guy, he's not like other guys, because if he was he'd be them, which isn't what he is because he's him, he's John Madden. If he was another guy, then he'd be Tony Siragusa, or Troy Aikman, who reads with his hands and talks with his ass which is on his neck which acts like a face which it's not because he's not John Madden.
by Guschdas October 26, 2007
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Any phrase spoken aload that has an unintentional sexual inuendo. Derived from the fact that everything John Madden says can be taken in a sexual way.
The following is a John Madden, spoken by the legend himself:

"Boy, there was some deep penetration in the backfield on that play!
by madjackal May 02, 2004
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VERB---- To speak the obvious
"It's raining" Thanks for the John Madden forecast because the water falling from the sky didn't already give it away.
by Robbie Quivey July 10, 2008
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An extremely old dude who, when talking, sounds like someone is squeezing his stomach. This guy is the human form of the game of football. He eats, sleeps, and drinks football. BOOM! Look at a video game case or monday night football and you'll see this man happy and smiling because he is football!!!
Look at him! It's John Madden, he's so old but happy...I wish we could play a game of football with him, but he might go insane or explode or something.
by knowledgeman October 04, 2006
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A monosyllabic, perspectiveless football announcer who rambles like harry caray and abuses the coaches clicker in an obsessive-compulsive manner while muttering primal grunts and "booms". Also known for scribbling unintelligible illustrations with the telestrater about the latest team he's jumped on the bandwagon with. Finds it harder to take is current favorite team and ram it down everybody's throats now that he's on MNF.
Did you hear that john madden is starting his own football league? The Packers and Cowboys play each other every week, and they both win every time!!
by T.Y. July 15, 2004
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Boom, another Boom, and another Boom!
John Madden: "....erhagaheghagergha, and BOOM! erhgagharhgaaghara.."
by JMlovaah May 14, 2008
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(A) an amazing guy who won't work that hard but will no matter what be hugely successful because of the original gangsterness of the john madden,
(B) a rare case where someone is named john madden and everyone asks him if "the john madden" is related to him, and john madden always makes up stories about being related to this "the john madden"
(C) a drunk koala bear that just found out it had 37 different kinds of STD's
John Madden is failing school - Mr. Meterson
But he managed to get into Harvard because he is a stellar person - Ms. Very-Sexy-Lady-With-A-Desire-To-Bang-John-Madden
by johnmaddenisme January 31, 2009
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