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Halliburton Handjob

The act of jerking someone off to distract them from the Alaskan Pipeline that’s about to be shoved up their ass.

Most frequently employed by DC lobbyists on various segments of the American public and by Amber Heard on unsuspecting romantic partners.
1. Dazzled by the company’s offer of thousands of good-paying factory jobs in exchange for tax cuts and reduced regulations, the city council was once again fooled by the old Halliburton Handjob.

2. After hearing of her boyfriend Brodie’s infidelity, Justine organized a gangbang and ambushed Brodie with a Halliburton Handjob in front of all his friends.
by Call Me Ahab January 20, 2024
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Harambe handjob

A handjob given by someone with extremely firm grip
Damn I’m sore he/she gave me that harambe handjob last night, thought they were going to rip my dick off.
by Steve Erwin February 9, 2024
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Feral Handjob

The use of mud , sand or dirt as lube as a woman jerks your off onto her stomach.

Natalie gave me a feral handjob and I blew my load all the way onto her face
Natalie gave me a feral handjob and I blew my load all the way onto her face.
by BellsBeach50 May 2, 2019
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French Handjob

When one person gives another person a handjob while French kissing them.
Randy knew his wife was the one when she gave him a French handjob.
by bstujm September 16, 2025
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Poseidons Handjob

When you take a shit and the water from the toilet touches your penis
"Dude, last night after that Mexican food gave me a Poseidons Handjob"
by WujekBartek December 26, 2021
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Spooky Handjob

When some one sneaks up on another person grabbing there dick and jerking them off till ejaculation at which point they jump out yelling boo scaring the other person.
Hey dude Danny DeVito gave me a spooky handjob.
by J church February 29, 2024
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Madam's handjob

When a woman removes her underwear and uses it to give a guy a hand job so that the panties soak up the cum, similar to a posh wank.
She took her pants off in the car and gave me a madam's handjob
by Space_Ashe March 24, 2025
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