jesus H. christ

Almost 50 years ago, I worked in an operating room. One of the doctors always swore Jesus H. Christ. When asked what the "H" stood for, he answered, "For Hallmark, for those who care to send the very best."

Jesus H. Christ, are you stupid or what?

by devi700 August 11, 2017

Jesus Buttfucking Christ

an exclamation one shouts when frustrated, surprised, or overwhelmed.

Jesus Buttfucking Christ! I just stepped in a pile of dog shit!

by shorttripp June 29, 2010

Brother-in-Christ zoned

The Christian version of friendzone. Generally done by girls who don't want to have a relationship with their admirer.

"Hey… Jenny… I want you to know… I really like you.

"Ooohhh… Andrew I see you more as a Brother in Christ…"

(Andrew) "Alright"
(Inside Andrew's mind) NOOOOOO, I've been Brother-in-Christ zoned!!!!

by TreestanD W March 3, 2014

jesus christ on a crutch

meaning "ohh shit" or fuckk!!

"jesus christ on a crutch that hurtt!"
or
"JESUS CHRiST ON A CRUTCH that was rude!!like what the ef

by Elle and Cody! September 8, 2007

jesus christ on a cracker

An exclamatory remark used to express surprise, distress, and outrage.

*In response to Matthew's CBT, Jack yells:
"Jesus Christ on a cracker!"

by Beau Weidman November 4, 2007

Christ-less-mas

what godless heathens and various marketing departments have turned Christmas into by removing all traces of Jesus Christ from the matter. one can tell who celebrates which holiday by looking at decorations in the home. often angels will be replaced by snowmen; pictures of Jesus will be replaced by Santa Claus; and "silent night" will be replaced by "grandma got run over by a reindeer" on the cd player.

Atheist: that's a funny looking gingerbread house. what's with the little people?
Christian: ...? that's a Nativity scene. it's a symbol of what Christmas is all about. how can you not know that?
Atheist: oh. i don't believe in Jesus, but I'll gladly piss on your traditions to get a present. I'll celebrate the secular holiday "Christ-less-mas".

by ChainBelt December 21, 2008

jesus cunting christ

A wonderfully profane thing to yell when you are extremely angry, with an emphasis on the final word (as demonstrated in the example below).

Jesus cunting CHRIST, Tim!! Did you really have to go drop that giant 127 lb. anvil on my foot??

by tiny cheeseburger December 12, 2008