Captain Poelking

Used when describing someone who is a fag but is rich so lots of people like this person.

Alex: "Bro I was at school today and met Captain Poelking"
Tanner: "I hate Captain Poelking he is such a fag bro for real"
Alex: "I wish I could beat the shit out of Captain Poelking but hes too rich"

by Hehshdn October 19, 2017

Captain Dave

When you burn a fetus and have sex with it and then you eat the pregnant chicks asshole until blood shows in her feces

Id love to captain Dave Mary so bad

by Testeater May 23, 2018

captain phasma

Captain of The First Order, who trains stormtroopers, like the loyal TR-8R and the traitorous FN-2187.The attempted new Boba Fett of the Star Wars sequels. She has a cold voice, a posh accent and a heart of lead. She has a stormtrooper-style armor, but made of chromium, so it is actually useful. She is also precise when shooting. She hates smelly traitors like FN-2187, who called her a chrome dome, and threw her down a garbage chute. She is assumed dead after thrown into the burning remains of the Supremacy. She also has a badass cape and a spear-thingy and a blaster.

Finn: mate, today I got owned by Captain Phasma.
Poe: Serves you right for calling her a chrome dome.

by Stickyyy fingers May 25, 2018

Captain Celaeno

A pirate parrot from My Little Pony The Movie who is voiced by Zoe Saldana. Also she is very similar to Bob the Builder in some ways.

Captain Celaeno is the best character from My Little Pony The Movie. Her trademark song and catchphrase is "It's Time to be Awesome."

by TiggerCelestia06 June 15, 2018

Captain Patagonia

An amazing mapping YouTube channel. Need I say more? 10/10
Dude is a literal legend.

Did you see Captain Patagonia's new video?

by Antarctica Mapping April 20, 2019

Captain Kirk Award

A very rare award that will only be given out once in human history, to a single person, and never again. This person will permanently hold the title for all of eternity, and be remembered as a hero to mankind.

This great honor shall be bestowed upon the very first human being to have sex with a sentient alien life form.

Convincing another human to fuck you is hard enough, but to be able to overcome a cultural and language barrier of an entirely different species and STILL convince one of them to fuck you is the pinnacle of finesse and game.

(Captain Kirk is the protagonist of the famed Star Trek series, and is known for gallivanting across the galaxy and gettin' the honeys.)

In the year 2199, Commander Larry Shepard of the United Earth Space Navy made first contact with the first known sentient species of extraterrestrials in the galaxy: the Shag-Shag.

This feat pales in comparison to Shepard's next accomplishment: earning the Captain Kirk Award by seducing the royal princess, thus becoming the first human being to have sex with an alien.

The war that followed was brutal, and brought our two races to the brink of extinction. It turns out that in Shag-Shag culture, a girl's parents must be present during intercourse. Not doing so is a major taboo in their culture. However, despite this chaos, you cannot deny that Commander Shepard has some fuckin' game.

by Mana Banana June 16, 2019

Captain Recovery

People in recovery from drugs/alcohol that make a huge show about their committment to AA and "The Big Book" that you will meet in rehab centers. They speak grandiosly while throwing around words like 'humble' preformatively. They're often the first ones to drop out of rehab first because they're actually judgmental egoists who don't actually change their behavior or ways but they portray themselves as role-models and constantly spout things like "Meeting makers make it!" and other recovery/AA cliches.

As soon as I met Brian I know he was another Captain Recovery and woudn't last more than week here.

by Chellox March 13, 2021