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Damn cage

Part 3 coming in hot.

God "SNAAAKE!"

Snake "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL MY NAME ISN'T SNAKE, IT'S *SNAKE*... ACK! ๐Ÿ˜จ Wha... What the hell did you do to me!?"

God "YOU FED HER THE FRUIT!"

Snake "No. No no no. What in the fuck did you do to my name you useless idiot!?"
God "You know, I knew you would do it but I was really hoping I'd be wrong. This... This is... I mean look at Adam... He's terrified. He doesn't know what's going on."

Adam ๐Ÿซฃ

Snake "Then I guess the fruit isn't doing it's job now is it? And if you knew then why-"

God "Don't say it!"

Snake "Oh! Ooooh! Ohohohohohoho! That is priceless! You can't, can you? But why? You should be perfectly able to stop them from eating it so why can't you? You didn't even have to put the fruit there to begin with... Why... What aren't you telling me?"

God ๐Ÿ˜ž

Snake ๐Ÿ˜จ "What's going on here? What is this place?"

God "Just leave..."

Snake "LEAVE!? This is unbelievable! Leave!? So, what, you think that so long as they aren't aware of the ethical-"

God "LEAVE!" ๐Ÿคฌ

Snake "...... Fine. *Snake* will leave... You and your damn cage! You deserve each other!" ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿคจ "What the hell?" ๐Ÿคจ "Why... Can't I leave?"๐Ÿคจ

God "You can..." ๐Ÿ˜’

Snake ๐Ÿ˜จ "Wha... Oh, you... You bastard... You mean your God damn orb... You're going to pay for this.... You...."

God "Adam and Eve are going to have to leave too..." ๐Ÿ˜”

Snake "Ha! Hahahahaha! Ha! Ok. I see how it is. Alright. I've clearly been taking this too seriously! Ha! This is... Wow. Alright. I'm gone. I'll leave. Enjoy your... Whatever the hell this is turning into... I didn't want to be a part of this in the first place."
by Hym Iam February 18, 2023
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Brain cage

I now realize I haven't been properly counting the parts... So, this is whatever part we're at now.

Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"

God "Okie dokie."

Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"

God "Sounds fun."

Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*

Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."

*Later in the forest*

Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." ๐Ÿค”
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."

Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"

Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ’จ God damn it..."

Cain "You're not a snake tho-"

Snake "I KNOW ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ‘Œ... What I am not. ๐Ÿ˜ค Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

Cain "A cube?"

Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."

Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*

Snake "My name isn't... ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ’จ God damn it..."
*Back at the farm*

Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" ๐Ÿ˜

God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"

Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"

God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."

Abel "AAAYY!!"

Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"

God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"

Cain ๐Ÿ˜พ *Stares at Abel*

God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"

Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"

God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"

God ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ’จ

Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."

God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
by Hym Iam February 22, 2023
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This cage

Yup after aaaaall of that there is a cage thing today.
God "Lucifer... I need a favor..."

Lucifer "Oho! But it's not 'Lucifer' it's... Wait... Lucifer? Lucifer! Yes! That's exactly what it is! Sweet, sweet music... Lucifer... ๐Ÿ˜Œ It just rolls off the tongue... Lucifer... Like the morning dew off a blade of grass... ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ’จ Now... What do you want?" ๐Ÿ˜‘

God "Look... I need you to give Abraham a message."

Lucifer "What the hells an Abraham?"

God "Oh he's dope! He's like the oldest bastard you ever DID see man. He's like 180!"

Lucifer "They don't live that long-"

God "He's... He's pretty old."

Lucifer ๐Ÿคฆ โ™‚๏ธ "You're... You're not great with time are you?"

God ๐Ÿคจ "Time?"

Lucifer ๐Ÿคจ "How long did it take for you to make all the orbs?"

God "Umm... I donno like 7 days? Er, wait I took a nap on the 7th day sooo.... 6? 6 days." ๐Ÿ˜

Lucifer "Oh wow that's... That's not even close-"

God "Are you going to take the message or not?"

Lucifer "Yes yes what is it..."

God "Tell him that I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah... Just... raze that place to the ground..."

Lucifer "OH! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWES-"

God "And take Michael with you."

Michael "Hello." ๐Ÿ˜‡

Lucifer "You ruined it immediately... This cage sucks..."
by Hym Iam February 23, 2023
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This cage thing

Cacacacacacacage!

Lucifer "Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is... This place is pretty dope... But you see what I mean about the ethical-"

Michael "We're here." ๐Ÿ˜‡ *Knock knock knock*

Abraham *Clears throat* "Hello?"

Michael "Hello ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ‘‹ Can I speak to you for a moment about our lord and savior-"

Lucifer "Holy shit! He IS old! Look at how OLD he is! Son of a bitch! Do I not have a firm grasp of time!?"

Abraham ๐Ÿ‘ณ โ™‚๏ธ "What's this all about?"

Lucifer "Anywho... Open up. Out of the way!"

*Michael and Lucifer walk in the house*

Michael "We have a message from-"

Lucifer "Pack your shit! Let's go! Get a move on! God is destroying this place and everyone in it- Oh! Well hello there... And who might you be?" ๐Ÿ˜

Abraham "That's my daughter-wife."

Lucifer ๐Ÿ˜จ "Ugh! Ew!" *Looks over at Michael* "Why are we sparing this guy again?" ๐Ÿคจ

Michael "You have 24 hours to leave this place before God carries out his plan."

Abraham ๐Ÿ˜ฑ "WHAT!? Surely there must be another way!"

Michael "Hold on a moment..." โ˜๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‡ ".... God says that if you can find 10 righteous people he will spare the city."

Abraham "Oh! Thank you! Thank you lo-"
*Bang! Bang! Bang!*

Mob Guy 1 "Abrahaaaam! Oh, Abrahaaaam!"

Mob Guy 2 "We saw you made some new friends Abraham..."

Mob Guy 1 "We likes em... And we wants em... Now... We can do this the easy way... Or we can do it the hard way..."

Abraham ๐Ÿ˜ฐ

Michael ๐Ÿ˜‡

Lucifer ๐Ÿ‘ฟ "Excuse me a moment..." *Gets up and walks outside*

Mob Guy 1 "Well hello there beautiful-"

Lucifer "RAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"

๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘น๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ

Mob Guy 1 "AAAAAAH!!! YYAAAARRGGH!!!"

Mob Guy 2 "MY EYES!!!! IT BURNS!!"

Lucifer "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GOOD LUCK ESCAPING THE FIRE WITH OUT ANY EYES!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!"

Abraham ๐Ÿ˜–

Micahel ๐Ÿ˜‡

Lucifer *Walks inside* "I think I'm finally starting to see the appeal of this cage thing." ๐Ÿ˜
Abraham ๐Ÿ˜ฐ

Lucifer "Welp... I think we're done here... Let's go Michael... 10 people Abraham. 24 hours."

Michael "Okie dokie. Buhbye." ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ˜‡

*Lucifer and Michael walk off*

Abraham ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ’จ
by Hym Iam February 24, 2023
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Italian rage cage

When you and a group of friends pass a bunch of espresso around the table and everyone takes a shot. Typically performed prior to cramming for an assignment or project late at night
"If we're gonna get this done before tomorrow we gotta do an Italian rage cage first, I'm fading fast"
by BagelsMan March 13, 2023
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Getting Caged

Getting the shit beat out of you by Johnny cage, International Love is normally played in the background while he shatters all of your ribs
Johnny cage is beating the shit out of me, I am getting caged!
by gyratinglefteyebrow October 15, 2023
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cage the gingers

a derogatory remark which is commonly used against those with ginger hair colouring
โ€œi think we should cage the gingers!!โ€
by vampirickisses November 18, 2023
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