Part 3 coming in hot.
God "SNAAAKE!"
Snake "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL MY NAME ISN'T SNAKE, IT'S *SNAKE*... ACK! ๐จ Wha... What the hell did you do to me!?"
God "YOU FED HER THE FRUIT!"
Snake "No. No no no. What in the fuck did you do to my name you useless idiot!?"
God "SNAAAKE!"
Snake "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL MY NAME ISN'T SNAKE, IT'S *SNAKE*... ACK! ๐จ Wha... What the hell did you do to me!?"
God "YOU FED HER THE FRUIT!"
Snake "No. No no no. What in the fuck did you do to my name you useless idiot!?"
God "You know, I knew you would do it but I was really hoping I'd be wrong. This... This is... I mean look at Adam... He's terrified. He doesn't know what's going on."
Adam ๐ซฃ
Snake "Then I guess the fruit isn't doing it's job now is it? And if you knew then why-"
God "Don't say it!"
Snake "Oh! Ooooh! Ohohohohohoho! That is priceless! You can't, can you? But why? You should be perfectly able to stop them from eating it so why can't you? You didn't even have to put the fruit there to begin with... Why... What aren't you telling me?"
God ๐
Snake ๐จ "What's going on here? What is this place?"
God "Just leave..."
Snake "LEAVE!? This is unbelievable! Leave!? So, what, you think that so long as they aren't aware of the ethical-"
God "LEAVE!" ๐คฌ
Snake "...... Fine. *Snake* will leave... You and your damn cage! You deserve each other!" ๐ถ๐คจ "What the hell?" ๐คจ "Why... Can't I leave?"๐คจ
God "You can..." ๐
Snake ๐จ "Wha... Oh, you... You bastard... You mean your God damn orb... You're going to pay for this.... You...."
God "Adam and Eve are going to have to leave too..." ๐
Snake "Ha! Hahahahaha! Ha! Ok. I see how it is. Alright. I've clearly been taking this too seriously! Ha! This is... Wow. Alright. I'm gone. I'll leave. Enjoy your... Whatever the hell this is turning into... I didn't want to be a part of this in the first place."
Adam ๐ซฃ
Snake "Then I guess the fruit isn't doing it's job now is it? And if you knew then why-"
God "Don't say it!"
Snake "Oh! Ooooh! Ohohohohohoho! That is priceless! You can't, can you? But why? You should be perfectly able to stop them from eating it so why can't you? You didn't even have to put the fruit there to begin with... Why... What aren't you telling me?"
God ๐
Snake ๐จ "What's going on here? What is this place?"
God "Just leave..."
Snake "LEAVE!? This is unbelievable! Leave!? So, what, you think that so long as they aren't aware of the ethical-"
God "LEAVE!" ๐คฌ
Snake "...... Fine. *Snake* will leave... You and your damn cage! You deserve each other!" ๐ถ๐คจ "What the hell?" ๐คจ "Why... Can't I leave?"๐คจ
God "You can..." ๐
Snake ๐จ "Wha... Oh, you... You bastard... You mean your God damn orb... You're going to pay for this.... You...."
God "Adam and Eve are going to have to leave too..." ๐
Snake "Ha! Hahahahaha! Ha! Ok. I see how it is. Alright. I've clearly been taking this too seriously! Ha! This is... Wow. Alright. I'm gone. I'll leave. Enjoy your... Whatever the hell this is turning into... I didn't want to be a part of this in the first place."
by Hym Iam February 18, 2023
Get the Damn cage mug.I now realize I haven't been properly counting the parts... So, this is whatever part we're at now.
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." ๐ค
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...๐ฎ ๐จ God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW ๐๐... What I am not. ๐ค Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." ๐
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... ๐ฎ ๐จ God damn it..."
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." ๐ค
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...๐ฎ ๐จ God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW ๐๐... What I am not. ๐ค Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." ๐
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... ๐ฎ ๐จ God damn it..."
*Back at the farm*
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" ๐
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain ๐พ *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! ๐ฑ Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." ๐ณ
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God ๐ฎ ๐จ
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" ๐
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain ๐พ *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! ๐ฑ Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." ๐ณ
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God ๐ฎ ๐จ
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
by Hym Iam February 22, 2023
Get the Brain cage mug.God "Lucifer... I need a favor..."
Lucifer "Oho! But it's not 'Lucifer' it's... Wait... Lucifer? Lucifer! Yes! That's exactly what it is! Sweet, sweet music... Lucifer... ๐ It just rolls off the tongue... Lucifer... Like the morning dew off a blade of grass... ๐ฎ ๐จ Now... What do you want?" ๐
God "Look... I need you to give Abraham a message."
Lucifer "What the hells an Abraham?"
God "Oh he's dope! He's like the oldest bastard you ever DID see man. He's like 180!"
Lucifer "They don't live that long-"
God "He's... He's pretty old."
Lucifer ๐คฆ โ๏ธ "You're... You're not great with time are you?"
God ๐คจ "Time?"
Lucifer ๐คจ "How long did it take for you to make all the orbs?"
God "Umm... I donno like 7 days? Er, wait I took a nap on the 7th day sooo.... 6? 6 days." ๐
Lucifer "Oh wow that's... That's not even close-"
God "Are you going to take the message or not?"
Lucifer "Yes yes what is it..."
God "Tell him that I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah... Just... raze that place to the ground..."
Lucifer "OH! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWES-"
God "And take Michael with you."
Michael "Hello." ๐
Lucifer "You ruined it immediately... This cage sucks..."
Lucifer "Oho! But it's not 'Lucifer' it's... Wait... Lucifer? Lucifer! Yes! That's exactly what it is! Sweet, sweet music... Lucifer... ๐ It just rolls off the tongue... Lucifer... Like the morning dew off a blade of grass... ๐ฎ ๐จ Now... What do you want?" ๐
God "Look... I need you to give Abraham a message."
Lucifer "What the hells an Abraham?"
God "Oh he's dope! He's like the oldest bastard you ever DID see man. He's like 180!"
Lucifer "They don't live that long-"
God "He's... He's pretty old."
Lucifer ๐คฆ โ๏ธ "You're... You're not great with time are you?"
God ๐คจ "Time?"
Lucifer ๐คจ "How long did it take for you to make all the orbs?"
God "Umm... I donno like 7 days? Er, wait I took a nap on the 7th day sooo.... 6? 6 days." ๐
Lucifer "Oh wow that's... That's not even close-"
God "Are you going to take the message or not?"
Lucifer "Yes yes what is it..."
God "Tell him that I'm going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah... Just... raze that place to the ground..."
Lucifer "OH! HOLY SHIT THAT IS AWES-"
God "And take Michael with you."
Michael "Hello." ๐
Lucifer "You ruined it immediately... This cage sucks..."
by Hym Iam February 23, 2023
Get the This cage mug.Cacacacacacacage!
Lucifer "Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is... This place is pretty dope... But you see what I mean about the ethical-"
Michael "We're here." ๐ *Knock knock knock*
Abraham *Clears throat* "Hello?"
Michael "Hello ๐๐ Can I speak to you for a moment about our lord and savior-"
Lucifer "Holy shit! He IS old! Look at how OLD he is! Son of a bitch! Do I not have a firm grasp of time!?"
Abraham ๐ณ โ๏ธ "What's this all about?"
Lucifer "Anywho... Open up. Out of the way!"
*Michael and Lucifer walk in the house*
Michael "We have a message from-"
Lucifer "Pack your shit! Let's go! Get a move on! God is destroying this place and everyone in it- Oh! Well hello there... And who might you be?" ๐
Abraham "That's my daughter-wife."
Lucifer ๐จ "Ugh! Ew!" *Looks over at Michael* "Why are we sparing this guy again?" ๐คจ
Michael "You have 24 hours to leave this place before God carries out his plan."
Abraham ๐ฑ "WHAT!? Surely there must be another way!"
Michael "Hold on a moment..." โ๏ธ๐ ".... God says that if you can find 10 righteous people he will spare the city."
Abraham "Oh! Thank you! Thank you lo-"
Lucifer "Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is... This place is pretty dope... But you see what I mean about the ethical-"
Michael "We're here." ๐ *Knock knock knock*
Abraham *Clears throat* "Hello?"
Michael "Hello ๐๐ Can I speak to you for a moment about our lord and savior-"
Lucifer "Holy shit! He IS old! Look at how OLD he is! Son of a bitch! Do I not have a firm grasp of time!?"
Abraham ๐ณ โ๏ธ "What's this all about?"
Lucifer "Anywho... Open up. Out of the way!"
*Michael and Lucifer walk in the house*
Michael "We have a message from-"
Lucifer "Pack your shit! Let's go! Get a move on! God is destroying this place and everyone in it- Oh! Well hello there... And who might you be?" ๐
Abraham "That's my daughter-wife."
Lucifer ๐จ "Ugh! Ew!" *Looks over at Michael* "Why are we sparing this guy again?" ๐คจ
Michael "You have 24 hours to leave this place before God carries out his plan."
Abraham ๐ฑ "WHAT!? Surely there must be another way!"
Michael "Hold on a moment..." โ๏ธ๐ ".... God says that if you can find 10 righteous people he will spare the city."
Abraham "Oh! Thank you! Thank you lo-"
*Bang! Bang! Bang!*
Mob Guy 1 "Abrahaaaam! Oh, Abrahaaaam!"
Mob Guy 2 "We saw you made some new friends Abraham..."
Mob Guy 1 "We likes em... And we wants em... Now... We can do this the easy way... Or we can do it the hard way..."
Abraham ๐ฐ
Michael ๐
Lucifer ๐ฟ "Excuse me a moment..." *Gets up and walks outside*
Mob Guy 1 "Well hello there beautiful-"
Lucifer "RAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐น๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
Mob Guy 1 "AAAAAAH!!! YYAAAARRGGH!!!"
Mob Guy 2 "MY EYES!!!! IT BURNS!!"
Lucifer "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GOOD LUCK ESCAPING THE FIRE WITH OUT ANY EYES!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!"
Abraham ๐
Micahel ๐
Lucifer *Walks inside* "I think I'm finally starting to see the appeal of this cage thing." ๐
Abraham ๐ฐ
Lucifer "Welp... I think we're done here... Let's go Michael... 10 people Abraham. 24 hours."
Michael "Okie dokie. Buhbye." ๐๐
*Lucifer and Michael walk off*
Abraham ๐ฎ ๐จ
Mob Guy 1 "Abrahaaaam! Oh, Abrahaaaam!"
Mob Guy 2 "We saw you made some new friends Abraham..."
Mob Guy 1 "We likes em... And we wants em... Now... We can do this the easy way... Or we can do it the hard way..."
Abraham ๐ฐ
Michael ๐
Lucifer ๐ฟ "Excuse me a moment..." *Gets up and walks outside*
Mob Guy 1 "Well hello there beautiful-"
Lucifer "RAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐น๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
Mob Guy 1 "AAAAAAH!!! YYAAAARRGGH!!!"
Mob Guy 2 "MY EYES!!!! IT BURNS!!"
Lucifer "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! GOOD LUCK ESCAPING THE FIRE WITH OUT ANY EYES!!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!"
Abraham ๐
Micahel ๐
Lucifer *Walks inside* "I think I'm finally starting to see the appeal of this cage thing." ๐
Abraham ๐ฐ
Lucifer "Welp... I think we're done here... Let's go Michael... 10 people Abraham. 24 hours."
Michael "Okie dokie. Buhbye." ๐๐
*Lucifer and Michael walk off*
Abraham ๐ฎ ๐จ
by Hym Iam February 24, 2023
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"If we're gonna get this done before tomorrow we gotta do an Italian rage cage first, I'm fading fast"
by BagelsMan March 13, 2023
Get the Italian rage cage mug.Getting the shit beat out of you by Johnny cage, International Love is normally played in the background while he shatters all of your ribs
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