Yeah, this is going to be like a whole cage series thing.
God "... And aren't you cute? Yesh you are! Oh yesh you are! Hujabuja!"
Lucifer "What in the hell are you... WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE!?" 😱
God "Yeah! This orb got some montsers on it dawg! It pretty good!" 😁
Lucifer "How in the hell did this HAPPEN!?"
God "Well, there were a bunch of these, like, algae type things and they, like, hyper-oxidized the atmosphere and then there were a bunch of single celled organisms."
Lucifer 😑 Single celled organisms?.... Like a sperms?..."
God 😳 "What!? Um, er... Nowhywouldyousaythat!? They aren't a... sperms!"
Lucifer 😨 "UGH AW FUCK YOU FUCKED IT YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKED THE ORBS!"
God "Nonononononono! I... They just... Appeared! Look at em. They're turning into stuff."
Lucifer "What is WRONG with you!? What is this!? What IS that!?"
God "Oh, yeah... It's like a teeth monster... It floats around in the goo and it, like, munches stuff, man... It's pretty sick."
Lucifer "What does it munch? What does it DO? and what about the rest of them?"
God "Um... Well... They're all basically teeth monsters and what they do is.... Um... eat... each other..."
Lucifer ".......... Say that again..."
God "They eat each other...."
Lucifer "Oh, man! That's... That is... WOW man.... And that's it? They just... Eat each other?"
God "Well... Yeah I mean... What else are they going to do? Make a bunch of orbs?"
God "... And aren't you cute? Yesh you are! Oh yesh you are! Hujabuja!"
Lucifer "What in the hell are you... WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE!?" 😱
God "Yeah! This orb got some montsers on it dawg! It pretty good!" 😁
Lucifer "How in the hell did this HAPPEN!?"
God "Well, there were a bunch of these, like, algae type things and they, like, hyper-oxidized the atmosphere and then there were a bunch of single celled organisms."
Lucifer 😑 Single celled organisms?.... Like a sperms?..."
God 😳 "What!? Um, er... Nowhywouldyousaythat!? They aren't a... sperms!"
Lucifer 😨 "UGH AW FUCK YOU FUCKED IT YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKED THE ORBS!"
God "Nonononononono! I... They just... Appeared! Look at em. They're turning into stuff."
Lucifer "What is WRONG with you!? What is this!? What IS that!?"
God "Oh, yeah... It's like a teeth monster... It floats around in the goo and it, like, munches stuff, man... It's pretty sick."
Lucifer "What does it munch? What does it DO? and what about the rest of them?"
God "Um... Well... They're all basically teeth monsters and what they do is.... Um... eat... each other..."
Lucifer ".......... Say that again..."
God "They eat each other...."
Lucifer "Oh, man! That's... That is... WOW man.... And that's it? They just... Eat each other?"
God "Well... Yeah I mean... What else are they going to do? Make a bunch of orbs?"
Lucifer "How about literally anything other than eat each other and NOTHING ELSE!? They literally do nothing other than eat each other."
God "I mean... They also kind of figure out the best way to eat each other... Like with traps or something... Generate poison in thier little goo sacks to... You know... eat each other better."
Lucifer "That... Is... Horrific..."
God "Right but, like, look at how big it's head is and how small it's arms are! Heheheheheheheh..."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "Oh man.... There is nothing good about that."
God "What do you mean!? Look at this guy! He can, like, not touch the ground for, like, a long as time. Check it. Flap flap flap! The guy is ridiculous man... And then it uses its feet claws to pin things down and/or grab and transport things so that it can pick them apart with it's bone face thing..."
Lucifer 😟
God "Maybe I'm saying it wrong..."
Lucifer "Get rid of it."
God "Aw... Come on..."
Lucifer *Throws rock*
God "Aw... Don't... You rocked my orb! Gah, that is gonna screw up the whole atmosphere for, like, a long time... Maaan..."
Lucifer "You're a fucking crazy person. Don't talk to me."
God "Nah, hey, this is cool. We could do stuff like this with all the cages... Right... Ope... You're gone... Well.... I guess it's just me and the orb now...." *Zip*
God "I mean... They also kind of figure out the best way to eat each other... Like with traps or something... Generate poison in thier little goo sacks to... You know... eat each other better."
Lucifer "That... Is... Horrific..."
God "Right but, like, look at how big it's head is and how small it's arms are! Heheheheheheheh..."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "Oh man.... There is nothing good about that."
God "What do you mean!? Look at this guy! He can, like, not touch the ground for, like, a long as time. Check it. Flap flap flap! The guy is ridiculous man... And then it uses its feet claws to pin things down and/or grab and transport things so that it can pick them apart with it's bone face thing..."
Lucifer 😟
God "Maybe I'm saying it wrong..."
Lucifer "Get rid of it."
God "Aw... Come on..."
Lucifer *Throws rock*
God "Aw... Don't... You rocked my orb! Gah, that is gonna screw up the whole atmosphere for, like, a long time... Maaan..."
Lucifer "You're a fucking crazy person. Don't talk to me."
God "Nah, hey, this is cool. We could do stuff like this with all the cages... Right... Ope... You're gone... Well.... I guess it's just me and the orb now...." *Zip*
by Hym Iam February 16, 2023
Get the Cages mug.Lucifer "Back to the cage.... Oh, not THIS place again! What in the..."
God "Hey, look! I made a guy!"
Adam "Hello."
Lucifer "Oh great it talks-What in the hell is going on here!? You made a guy!? Why would you even-"
God "Yup. I made a guy. He's like us... Kind of. It's pretty good, man, I'm having him name all the stuff."
Lucifer "Great! Just great! You know there's an ethical-"
God "Hey, we're gonna go name some stuff, alright? See ya later!"
Lucifer 😮 💨 "..... Alright...."
*A few hours later*
Lucifer "Oh great... There's two of them..."
God "We're back! Man, that was fun! We named a bunch of stuff today."
Lucifer "Care to explain... That?"
God "Ooooh... Right. Yeah, Adam was saying that he gets a little lonely when I'm not around so... There. I made her out of one of his ribs."
Eve "Hello."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "So, what? Now he has an odd number of ribs?"
God "What? No. That would be stupid-"
Lucifer "AAAAHH!! OK! YUP! You're right! Why would I think that!? How could I have been so stupid!?"
God "It's ok but calm down you're gonna scare em."
Adam & Eve 😖
Adam "Snake!" 🫵
God "Ope! Ha! You're snake! That's hilarious!"
Lucifer "I'm not a snake..."
God "Well, this has been fun but I need a nap. Goodnight everybody!"
God "Hey, look! I made a guy!"
Adam "Hello."
Lucifer "Oh great it talks-What in the hell is going on here!? You made a guy!? Why would you even-"
God "Yup. I made a guy. He's like us... Kind of. It's pretty good, man, I'm having him name all the stuff."
Lucifer "Great! Just great! You know there's an ethical-"
God "Hey, we're gonna go name some stuff, alright? See ya later!"
Lucifer 😮 💨 "..... Alright...."
*A few hours later*
Lucifer "Oh great... There's two of them..."
God "We're back! Man, that was fun! We named a bunch of stuff today."
Lucifer "Care to explain... That?"
God "Ooooh... Right. Yeah, Adam was saying that he gets a little lonely when I'm not around so... There. I made her out of one of his ribs."
Eve "Hello."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "So, what? Now he has an odd number of ribs?"
God "What? No. That would be stupid-"
Lucifer "AAAAHH!! OK! YUP! You're right! Why would I think that!? How could I have been so stupid!?"
God "It's ok but calm down you're gonna scare em."
Adam & Eve 😖
Adam "Snake!" 🫵
God "Ope! Ha! You're snake! That's hilarious!"
Lucifer "I'm not a snake..."
God "Well, this has been fun but I need a nap. Goodnight everybody!"
by Hym Iam February 18, 2023
Get the Cage. mug.See? What'd I tell you? It's a 2 parter and a barn burner... There might even be a 3rd part. OoOoOoOoOoOoOo!
*The next day*
Lucifer "Look, I know what I said but this cage thing is getting out of hand..."
God "I don't see what you mean... but we're gonna go name some stuff now."
Adam "Bye Snake!"😁
Lucifer "RGH! I AM NOT... A snake... They're gone..." 😮 💨
Eve 😐
Lucifer 😒
*A few minutes later*
*Underneath a tree*
Lucifer "..... And don't even get me started on the orbs! 'No LuCi! ThE pYrAmIdS jUsT gRoW oN tHe OrBs SoMeTiMeS!' It's stupid! He's stupid! I swear he just does it to irritate me..." 😒
Eve "I don't really understand but... I enjoy the time we spend together." 😊
Lucifer 😳 "Um... Well... Tsk! 😒 No... No, you wouldn't understand, would you?" *grabs fruit*
Eve 😯 "We're not supposed to eat that."
Lucifer "No. YOU'RE 😈👉😣 not supposed to eat it. I already have the thing the fruit gives you so, to me, it's just fruit." *takes bite*
Eve "Oh..." 😕
Lucifer "On second thought... Here. Have a bite."
Eve "But... What will happen?"
Lucifer "Well... How do I put this? God and I are one way... And you and Adam aren't like us... You're... Different. Eating the fruit will... Make you more like us."
Eve "I don't know..."
Lucifer "Trust me. You'll understand after you take a bite."
🫴 🍏
Eve 😕 "......." *takes bite* 😯😲🫨😨😰
Lucifer "Ah, yeah. See? There's an ethical-"
Eve "I HAVE TO TELL ADAM!" *runs off*
Lucifer "No don't!" 🫳 "......" 😧 "Aw..... Well, shit.... Oops..." 🤷
Lucifer "Look, I know what I said but this cage thing is getting out of hand..."
God "I don't see what you mean... but we're gonna go name some stuff now."
Adam "Bye Snake!"😁
Lucifer "RGH! I AM NOT... A snake... They're gone..." 😮 💨
Eve 😐
Lucifer 😒
*A few minutes later*
*Underneath a tree*
Lucifer "..... And don't even get me started on the orbs! 'No LuCi! ThE pYrAmIdS jUsT gRoW oN tHe OrBs SoMeTiMeS!' It's stupid! He's stupid! I swear he just does it to irritate me..." 😒
Eve "I don't really understand but... I enjoy the time we spend together." 😊
Lucifer 😳 "Um... Well... Tsk! 😒 No... No, you wouldn't understand, would you?" *grabs fruit*
Eve 😯 "We're not supposed to eat that."
Lucifer "No. YOU'RE 😈👉😣 not supposed to eat it. I already have the thing the fruit gives you so, to me, it's just fruit." *takes bite*
Eve "Oh..." 😕
Lucifer "On second thought... Here. Have a bite."
Eve "But... What will happen?"
Lucifer "Well... How do I put this? God and I are one way... And you and Adam aren't like us... You're... Different. Eating the fruit will... Make you more like us."
Eve "I don't know..."
Lucifer "Trust me. You'll understand after you take a bite."
🫴 🍏
Eve 😕 "......." *takes bite* 😯😲🫨😨😰
Lucifer "Ah, yeah. See? There's an ethical-"
Eve "I HAVE TO TELL ADAM!" *runs off*
Lucifer "No don't!" 🫳 "......" 😧 "Aw..... Well, shit.... Oops..." 🤷
by Hym Iam February 18, 2023
Get the Cage thing mug.Part 3 coming in hot.
God "SNAAAKE!"
Snake "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL MY NAME ISN'T SNAKE, IT'S *SNAKE*... ACK! 😨 Wha... What the hell did you do to me!?"
God "YOU FED HER THE FRUIT!"
Snake "No. No no no. What in the fuck did you do to my name you useless idiot!?"
God "SNAAAKE!"
Snake "YOU KNOW GOD DAMN WELL MY NAME ISN'T SNAKE, IT'S *SNAKE*... ACK! 😨 Wha... What the hell did you do to me!?"
God "YOU FED HER THE FRUIT!"
Snake "No. No no no. What in the fuck did you do to my name you useless idiot!?"
God "You know, I knew you would do it but I was really hoping I'd be wrong. This... This is... I mean look at Adam... He's terrified. He doesn't know what's going on."
Adam 🫣
Snake "Then I guess the fruit isn't doing it's job now is it? And if you knew then why-"
God "Don't say it!"
Snake "Oh! Ooooh! Ohohohohohoho! That is priceless! You can't, can you? But why? You should be perfectly able to stop them from eating it so why can't you? You didn't even have to put the fruit there to begin with... Why... What aren't you telling me?"
God 😞
Snake 😨 "What's going on here? What is this place?"
God "Just leave..."
Snake "LEAVE!? This is unbelievable! Leave!? So, what, you think that so long as they aren't aware of the ethical-"
God "LEAVE!" 🤬
Snake "...... Fine. *Snake* will leave... You and your damn cage! You deserve each other!" 🚶🤨 "What the hell?" 🤨 "Why... Can't I leave?"🤨
God "You can..." 😒
Snake 😨 "Wha... Oh, you... You bastard... You mean your God damn orb... You're going to pay for this.... You...."
God "Adam and Eve are going to have to leave too..." 😔
Snake "Ha! Hahahahaha! Ha! Ok. I see how it is. Alright. I've clearly been taking this too seriously! Ha! This is... Wow. Alright. I'm gone. I'll leave. Enjoy your... Whatever the hell this is turning into... I didn't want to be a part of this in the first place."
Adam 🫣
Snake "Then I guess the fruit isn't doing it's job now is it? And if you knew then why-"
God "Don't say it!"
Snake "Oh! Ooooh! Ohohohohohoho! That is priceless! You can't, can you? But why? You should be perfectly able to stop them from eating it so why can't you? You didn't even have to put the fruit there to begin with... Why... What aren't you telling me?"
God 😞
Snake 😨 "What's going on here? What is this place?"
God "Just leave..."
Snake "LEAVE!? This is unbelievable! Leave!? So, what, you think that so long as they aren't aware of the ethical-"
God "LEAVE!" 🤬
Snake "...... Fine. *Snake* will leave... You and your damn cage! You deserve each other!" 🚶🤨 "What the hell?" 🤨 "Why... Can't I leave?"🤨
God "You can..." 😒
Snake 😨 "Wha... Oh, you... You bastard... You mean your God damn orb... You're going to pay for this.... You...."
God "Adam and Eve are going to have to leave too..." 😔
Snake "Ha! Hahahahaha! Ha! Ok. I see how it is. Alright. I've clearly been taking this too seriously! Ha! This is... Wow. Alright. I'm gone. I'll leave. Enjoy your... Whatever the hell this is turning into... I didn't want to be a part of this in the first place."
by Hym Iam February 18, 2023
Get the Damn cage mug.I now realize I haven't been properly counting the parts... So, this is whatever part we're at now.
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." 🤔
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW 😖👌... What I am not. 😤 Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." 😈
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... 😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." 🤔
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW 😖👌... What I am not. 😤 Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." 😈
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... 😮 💨 God damn it..."
*Back at the farm*
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" 😁
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain 😾 *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! 😱 Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." 😳
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God 😮 💨
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" 😁
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain 😾 *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! 😱 Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." 😳
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God 😮 💨
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
by Hym Iam February 22, 2023
Get the Brain cage mug.Getting the shit beat out of you by Johnny cage, International Love is normally played in the background while he shatters all of your ribs
by gyratinglefteyebrow October 15, 2023
Get the Getting Caged mug.by vampirickisses November 18, 2023
Get the cage the gingers mug.