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Schrödinger’s sleeping child

The mother does not know whether or not her child is playing DS under the covers or sleeping, and until she lifts the covers, the child will be in a state of simultaneously playing DS and being asleep.
There goes my son, ever Schrödinger’s sleeping child, can never tell if he's sleeping or playing on that damned game boy I bought him.
by Doctor_Sex May 10, 2022
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Schrödinger's Twat

British English version of Schrodinger's Douchebag - "Schrödinger's Twat" is a person who says something offensive or horrible, and then, depending upon how offended his audience are, retrospectively claims it was a joke.
Who was that guy talking to Carl? He was a real Schrödinger's Twat!
by Schrödinger's Twat August 18, 2015
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Schrödinger's Dump

Schrödinger's Dump. You take a shit that is so dense, it falls into the bend of the toilet where you can't see it. Then, you go to wipe and there's no butt residue. In the end, you're not sure weather you dumped at all. You are in a state of dump and non dumpage at the same time until observed. A truly fascinating experience, taking a quantum shit. From Reddit user Original_name18
"C'mon dude...you didn't flush the toilet."
"Didn't need to....dropped a Schrödinger's Dump."
by MortimerFuckbottom December 8, 2016
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Schrödinger's Douchebag

A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him.
Any website that lacks effective moderation and allows some level of anonymity will, to varying degrees, approxomate 4chan, and be overrun with Schrödinger's Douchebags. Now this type of person defends, for instance, rape-jokes by saying "all humor is inherently punching down because there must be a butt to every joke." He hasn't thought about it. he assumes it's true because he figures "(he's) a smart guy, and whatever (he) assumes is probably right", but he's unfazed if you prove otherwise. There's no shortage of dodgy reasons he might be right and you wrong. He'll just pick another one. What matters is the game continues.

-- Innuendo Studios example of Schrödinger's Douchebag, "The Alt-Right Playbook: The Card Says Moops"
by The Logical Fallacy February 3, 2019
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Schrodingers Fuck-box

When inside a black hole, because of the gravity and time dilation, you can be fucking for forever and also not forever at the same time. Yet, when one looks in the black hole, one sees that you are either fucking for forever or fucking for not forever, not fucking for forever and also not forever at the same time. This poses the question of when exactly quantum superposition ends and reality collapses into one possibility or the other.
"Dude, did you see me jackhammering that chick in the black hole over there?"
"Were you jackhammering her forever and also not forever at the same time?"
"I'm not sure dude"
"Schrodingers Fuck-box bro! Nice!"
by MC_ANDERSAUR November 18, 2014
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Schrodinger's Biden

The version of Joe Biden that exists in the minds of conservatives where he is simultaneously clueless and ineffective, evil and manipulative.
Schrodinger's Biden hasn't accomplished a thing in 50 years in government but can also manipulate gas prices to swing an election his way.
by JMMJMMJMM September 10, 2022
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meth shredding

A term used to describe the commonly experienced paranoia fueled by methamphetamine use that causes the user to compulsively tear into tiny pieces, by hand, everything they come in contact with.
I had eaten a Twinkie and therefore relied upon my meth shredding habit to eliminate all possible evidence of this pathetic and unhealthful event knowing that my dietary activity could at some point become the subject of a full-blown FBI investigation.
by Dr Bunnygirl September 26, 2019
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