Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012
Get the Santorum Colada mug.A circular gelatinous blob of santorum that may form on a surface after being expelled from the body.
I accidentally slipped out of my girlfriend last night while we were doing anal and she gave birth to a santorum jellyfish right there on the sheets. It was a very quick labor.
by mrcyn November 19, 2013
Get the santorum jellyfish mug.Related Words
by pluhpkin August 1, 2012
Get the Santorum Administration mug.1. A shocking sex act involving santorum, usually one that lasts a long time or has multiple components.
2. Specific sex acts meeting these conditions are sometimes referred to as a santorum rally.
3. To santorumize, esp. for an extended period of time.
2. Specific sex acts meeting these conditions are sometimes referred to as a santorum rally.
3. To santorumize, esp. for an extended period of time.
"I went all the way with him," he said. I shuddered and looked down; I couldn't believe my ears. "I mean, when I say 'all the way,' I mean all-- the-- way," he continued, being sure to carefully annunciate each word, as though I wouldn't know what he was talking about if I missed the "the". I just couldn't bear the thought of the two of them together. Paul, my Paul. It just wasn't right. "Yeah, it was a real santorum rally last night."
"I GET IT!" I snapped, and even Simon seemed surprised at my reaction.
"I GET IT!" I snapped, and even Simon seemed surprised at my reaction.
by rodisgod September 2, 2012
Get the Santorum Rally mug.A cloth kept nearby to clean up that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.
by babycake & boo June 19, 2011
Get the Santorum towel mug.1. (noun) An anal sex act, in which the giving partner lies to the receiving partner and tells him or her that he has ejaculated. After the receiving partner turns around to face him, the giving partner violently ejaculates into the other partner's eye. He then uses the Santorum that has accumulated on his penis to draw a cross on the forehead of the stunned receiving partner.
2. (verb) To perform said sex act.
3. (noun) The fact that Rick Santorum is still a viable presidential candidate after Super Tuesday
2. (verb) To perform said sex act.
3. (noun) The fact that Rick Santorum is still a viable presidential candidate after Super Tuesday
1. Man, that hooker made be pay double after I tried the Santorum Super Tuesday Surprise.
3. In any other election, the Santorum Super Tuesday Surprise would be more shocking to me, but look at the other candidates!
3. In any other election, the Santorum Super Tuesday Surprise would be more shocking to me, but look at the other candidates!
by Mort459 June 16, 2012
Get the Santorum Super Tuesday Surprise mug.A homosexual sex act involving ten (10) or more males, popularized by several conservative politicians.
During this act each participant lines up according to penis size and voraciously jackhammers the male with the tightest cornhole ("receiver") until they ejaculate, one at a time filling the colon with an emulsion of personal lubricant and fecal matter ("Santorum").
Next, the second most hung male penetrates the colon extremely deeply and performs the most aggressive form of anal intercourse done at such a speed/force that the anus loses all tightness and what was once a happy starfish is now a hot red pit ("code red anal").
Simultaneously, while the receiver is fluffing the most hung male and getting absolutely throttled in the ass, the most hung male grabs the back of the receiver's head and forces the receiver to deep throat beyond his capability.
The violent gag that results sets off a chain reaction that begins with a sphincter clench. The combination of this clench with a well-timed inward thrust from the #2 douche rocket creates a massive high-pressure colon-bubble that explodes at a high velocity from the receivers gaping colon, covering the #2 douche rocket in a mixed batch of steamy Santorum.
During this act each participant lines up according to penis size and voraciously jackhammers the male with the tightest cornhole ("receiver") until they ejaculate, one at a time filling the colon with an emulsion of personal lubricant and fecal matter ("Santorum").
Next, the second most hung male penetrates the colon extremely deeply and performs the most aggressive form of anal intercourse done at such a speed/force that the anus loses all tightness and what was once a happy starfish is now a hot red pit ("code red anal").
Simultaneously, while the receiver is fluffing the most hung male and getting absolutely throttled in the ass, the most hung male grabs the back of the receiver's head and forces the receiver to deep throat beyond his capability.
The violent gag that results sets off a chain reaction that begins with a sphincter clench. The combination of this clench with a well-timed inward thrust from the #2 douche rocket creates a massive high-pressure colon-bubble that explodes at a high velocity from the receivers gaping colon, covering the #2 douche rocket in a mixed batch of steamy Santorum.
"Newt is absolutely drowning after that Santorum Surge."
"Mitt really timed that one nicely, Newt didn't even see that Santorum Surge coming."
"Fuck a glitter bomb, that toxic Santorum Surge just blinded Newt."
"Wow, that guy just blew up. What a well executed Santorum Surge!"
"Oh shit, somebody throw Mitt a couple bate-mates, he has one hell of a mess to clean up after that Santorum Surge!"
"Mitt really timed that one nicely, Newt didn't even see that Santorum Surge coming."
"Fuck a glitter bomb, that toxic Santorum Surge just blinded Newt."
"Wow, that guy just blew up. What a well executed Santorum Surge!"
"Oh shit, somebody throw Mitt a couple bate-mates, he has one hell of a mess to clean up after that Santorum Surge!"
by The Smifter March 25, 2012
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