When a woman gives a man a blowjob, and before the man ejaculates, she twists his member clockwise in a wrenching motion while he attempts to ejaculate.
I was hoping for a good time with that prostitute, but she ended up giving me a Portuguese monkey wrench.
by KongoJojo December 14, 2010
Get the Portuguese Monkey Wrench mug.by Strafferen September 16, 2009
Get the Fuck me sideways running backwards with a monkey wrench mug.Hey Earnest, your aunt handled that slovokian monkey wrench like a real slugger!--- What a whore, that wasnt her first time! Come on Steve!
by brad and craig July 19, 2007
Get the slovokian monkey wrench mug.Of course Manitoba is essentially the French Dakota. And everyone knows that the Dakotas are home to some of the most sexually depraved humans this side of Bixby. Armed with that as background information, the Manitoba Monkey Wrench is the utensil that is found in every man’s tackle box, toolbox and utility belt. It is the very tool that can keep you alive on those subarctic nights in the local pub.
Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”.
Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam as a hickey from Kenickie is to Rizzo. It’s not only something to cherish but to be worn with pride.
The Kicker: As with everything, sometimes the giver of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench can go overboard and hit the harlot too hard, those rendering her oral sexual skills as a thing of the past. Once this happens, the harlot becomes a short-order cook and invariably becomes a victim of Meth use.
Thirdly: If you’re lucky enough to encounter a lady of the night that is not only skilled in the arts of crushing her own pride but also knows how what the difference between a neutral-zone trap and a one-man fore check then by all means brand the woman as a madam worthy of Manitoba’s highest honor.
Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”.
Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam as a hickey from Kenickie is to Rizzo. It’s not only something to cherish but to be worn with pride.
The Kicker: As with everything, sometimes the giver of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench can go overboard and hit the harlot too hard, those rendering her oral sexual skills as a thing of the past. Once this happens, the harlot becomes a short-order cook and invariably becomes a victim of Meth use.
Thirdly: If you’re lucky enough to encounter a lady of the night that is not only skilled in the arts of crushing her own pride but also knows how what the difference between a neutral-zone trap and a one-man fore check then by all means brand the woman as a madam worthy of Manitoba’s highest honor.
When Pierre saw Delorise turn around with a mouth full of Round Bacon, he could see the mark of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench and knew that this woman was worth more than an expired Trojan, she was worth a sporty stint of ice skating and some wool socks. For he had heard about the Manitoban mark of beauty but had never gazed upon its call with his natural eyes.
by BabySealClubSamich December 1, 2007
Get the Manitoba Monkey Wrench mug.by Chris teach math March 30, 2017
Get the Wrench monkey mug.a nuisance, something that ditracts from getting things done. This is a variation on "a monkeywrench in the works" which dates back to the industrial revolution. If a wrench were to fall into the gears of the large factory machine, it would make everything stop.
monkey in the wrench was first used in the movie Die Hard in 1988. In the film, the hero is a cop trapped in a highrise building full of terrorists. After killing several of them, he talks to their leader via a cb radio. When the villain asks who he is, he states,
monkey in the wrench was first used in the movie Die Hard in 1988. In the film, the hero is a cop trapped in a highrise building full of terrorists. After killing several of them, he talks to their leader via a cb radio. When the villain asks who he is, he states,
by Bobby White June 30, 2008
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A computer programming term.
To write sloppy and inefficent code that solves the problem instead of a proper solution because you can't get it to work correctly and have run out of time to fix it.
A computer programming term.
To write sloppy and inefficent code that solves the problem instead of a proper solution because you can't get it to work correctly and have run out of time to fix it.
by Cynamon September 7, 2005
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