I have to text my pig

A modern version of "I have to wash my hair" or "I have to sort my sock drawer"; an obvious excuse and serious blow off that can be employed when standing in front of the person asking you to do something you don't want to do.

Girl: So we're going to Bar 123 after this; do you want to come with us?
Guy: Aw, I would but I have to text my pig.

by KK70 July 17, 2011

I have to shit

What you say when you have to shit.
(Usually happens in a bathroom on a toilet)

Dude 1: I have to shit
Dude 2: Thats good to know..

by KalebRunnells January 16, 2009

what does that have to do with a price of eggs in china

When someone says something completely irrelevant.

Jo: Gas in Mexico is $1.70 per gallon.
BOB: what does that have to do with a price of eggs in china. (They live in Tennessee)

by LA777 May 14, 2015

I have to work tonight

A phrase that a depressed person utters when his/her friends are inviting them to do something fun. It can be used as an excuse for getting out of doing something shitty, or, it's most commonly just a sad, honest response to the invitation.

Gary: Hey man, let's go watch monday night football tonight, then we can go play some intramural flag football afterwords.

Steve: I have to work tonight.

Gary: Wow, you must be depressed.

by JoeyRogue77 October 5, 2009

Hey, I don't have to press 2.

Response to anyone who asks you, "You know what I mean?" referring to phone responses that tell you to press 1 for english.

Hey, I don't have to press 2.

by pavedave October 3, 2010

I have to pizzle fo rizzle

I have to pee for real.

"Where's the bathroom?"
"Why?"
"I have to pizzle fo rizzle."

by Amanda May 4, 2003

Ask your crush out and they have to say yes

April 20th ask your crush out if they dont say yes than that's your luck 🥵

Ask your crush out and they have to say yes.

by Ajay ajay April 18, 2019