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The Grandfather Paradox

The best Catch-22 of them all: What if your grandfather was a truly horrific person and you were forced to go back in time and kill him before he could do those bad things. But, if you succeed and your grandmother hasn’t been impregnated with your dad or mum yet, you would not be born, and if you weren’t born, nobody killed your grandfather and well… you know where this is going.
Person 1: “Yo, what’s your favourite paradox?”
Person 2: “It’s The Grandfather Paradox. Such a fascin-.”
Person 1: “Fuck off, it’s so overrated.”
by YellowBinLorry May 24, 2023
mugGet the The Grandfather Paradoxmug.

grandfather paradox

The grandfather paradox is a paradox of time travel in which inconsistencies emerge through changing the past.
Everyone: What is Grandfather Paradox?

Me: Something like you go back in time and kill your grandfather so that you won’t exist in time.
by anonymous December 16, 2020
mugGet the grandfather paradoxmug.

grandfather loaf

"Dude, come look at the majestic Grandfather Loaf I just left in the toilet!"
by the Red Raptor April 16, 2014
mugGet the grandfather loafmug.

Grandfather Stitch

The extra stitch added to episiotomy (taint) sutures to make the vagina just a little bit tighter after child birth.
“You need to ask the doctor to give her a grandfather stitch to return that cooch to factory-new condition.”
by steve-o-reno September 5, 2010
mugGet the Grandfather Stitchmug.

grandfather clock

a big hangy thing that ticks when it swings
A HUGE DICK (swings like a grandfather clock)
by UrbanAsassin69 June 3, 2010
mugGet the grandfather clockmug.

grandfather clock

When your girlfriend won't let you have sex with her because of her period.you then convince her to let you pull out her tampon with your teeth, you then sit on her chest and hold her arms down as you proceed to swing the blood soaked plug over her face like a pendulum
I gave Kristi a grandfather clock today
by brown Charlie October 4, 2008
mugGet the grandfather clockmug.

Grandfather clause

When a patron that isn't of legal drinking age enters an establishment before it transitions from restaurant status to bar/club status thus bypassing ID checks at the door.
Geoff: "Grant, let's all go celebrate your birthday at that new establishment and get you really drunk so your girlfriend can take full advantage of you."
Grant: "But my girlfriend isn't legal drinking age yet."
Geoff: "No worries, lets get there early and she can use the grandfather clause."
Grant: "That seems appropriate."
Kris: "People do that."
Nicole: "That makes sense."
Geoff: "I'm sure there's no science to support that."
by Kris May 22, 2011
mugGet the Grandfather clausemug.

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