A new religion based off the sappy Mormon-written Twilight series. It has no tax exempt status, very few members, a prayer ripped off from the Lord's Prayer, and the majority of the congregation are virginal girls (not of the hot kind, either).
Basically, cullenism is basically the Church Of Scientology except, would you believe it - their members are far more insane, you have to replace aliens with "sexeh vampires OMG TEAM EDWARD YAAAY!" and instead of being founded by a failure of a science-fiction writer, it's based off the masturbation fodder of a Mormon homemaker.
Basically, cullenism is basically the Church Of Scientology except, would you believe it - their members are far more insane, you have to replace aliens with "sexeh vampires OMG TEAM EDWARD YAAAY!" and instead of being founded by a failure of a science-fiction writer, it's based off the masturbation fodder of a Mormon homemaker.
Girl 1: What religion do you believe in?
Girl 2: I'M A BELIEVE IN CULLENISM OMGTWILIGHTISSOGREATEDWARDISSOHOTDHIDHSfjhahfw
Girl 1: God, that is retarded.
Girl 2: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.
Girl 2: I'M A BELIEVE IN CULLENISM OMGTWILIGHTISSOGREATEDWARDISSOHOTDHIDHSfjhahfw
Girl 1: God, that is retarded.
Girl 2: YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.
by R.Pattz December 22, 2008
Get the cullenism mug.A fictional character in Stephenie Meyer's novel series Twilight. He is a vampire with the ability to read minds with the exception of Bella Swan.
Not only is he the world's oldest virgin, he is also the world's oldest pedophile.
Many girls within the 12-15 age range, are infatuated with him, and have created this need for the "perfect" boy whom also happens to be a vampire. Once they realize that no such boy exist, they start to believe that Edawrd Cullen is real, and read the book more than 2 times, to help push the idea further, along with their insanity.
Not only is he the world's oldest virgin, he is also the world's oldest pedophile.
Many girls within the 12-15 age range, are infatuated with him, and have created this need for the "perfect" boy whom also happens to be a vampire. Once they realize that no such boy exist, they start to believe that Edawrd Cullen is real, and read the book more than 2 times, to help push the idea further, along with their insanity.
Beth - OMG!!!!!! I am TOTALLY going to marry EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!! We are TOTALLY made for each other!!!!!!!!!
Allie - You're in love with a guy who doesn't even EXIST? Have fun trying to marry your book....
Allie - You're in love with a guy who doesn't even EXIST? Have fun trying to marry your book....
by adome March 26, 2009
Get the Edward Cullen mug.A creepy, 108-year-old virgin pedophile who stalks a girl with less personality than a rock, invented by Stephanie Meyer to brainwash preteen girls in her plan to controll the world.
For some obscure reason, Edward and his whole vampire group sparkle in the sunlight. This was illistrated in the weirdly popular movie, "Twilight," by a few specks of glitter and the tinkling of fairy bells.
Edward like to believe that he is a vampire, rather than a scary-looking insomniac with a blood fetish.
See also, stalker,gay,pedophile, creepy, and eunuch
For some obscure reason, Edward and his whole vampire group sparkle in the sunlight. This was illistrated in the weirdly popular movie, "Twilight," by a few specks of glitter and the tinkling of fairy bells.
Edward like to believe that he is a vampire, rather than a scary-looking insomniac with a blood fetish.
See also, stalker,gay,pedophile, creepy, and eunuch
Girl under the age and IQ of 15: "Edward Cullen is great! He's so romantic and protective!"
Girl in possession of braincells: "No. It's called pedophilia."
Girl in possession of braincells: "No. It's called pedophilia."
by einzweidrei April 12, 2010
Get the Edward Cullen mug.A male in Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series.
Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower's wet dreams. How can they not? I mean... he goes into the sun and... SPARKLES! "Yum?"
Right, then.
Overall, a "perfect guy" made by a female writer that appeals heavily to young women or teens. The only reason that he makes me happy, is because it sets each and every fan girl up for a large amount of disappointment when they meet a real man.
Enjoy, Twilight fan-girls. Please be sure to write juicy comments.
P.S.: Please do use proper spelling and grammar when responding. It isn't nice to give people headaches.
Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower's wet dreams. How can they not? I mean... he goes into the sun and... SPARKLES! "Yum?"
Right, then.
Overall, a "perfect guy" made by a female writer that appeals heavily to young women or teens. The only reason that he makes me happy, is because it sets each and every fan girl up for a large amount of disappointment when they meet a real man.
Enjoy, Twilight fan-girls. Please be sure to write juicy comments.
P.S.: Please do use proper spelling and grammar when responding. It isn't nice to give people headaches.
My girlfriend is currently trying to remove my nipple for trying to post this entry on the fag, Edward Cullen.
Ow! My Edward Colon!
Ow! My Edward Colon!
by OwMyNipple October 21, 2008
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Edward Cullen:
What do *I* say to that? Well, for starters, he's--most arguably--the oldest virgin in the history of the oldest virgins every recorded. Somehow, I can't understand how he has pale skin but goes into the sun and fucking SPARKLES. How the fuck do you sparkle with pale skin? I'm pretty sure even that Count Dracula himself can't answer that...
Anywho, as Bella may see him as "kind", "caring", "stubborn"... Poor girl. For an "intelligent" person, you sure are one DUMB retard. Edward is ABUSIVE! He is insecure, Bella! Look it up!
Who the hell watches you sleep at night(and you don't even know the motherfucker, either)? Who the hell contemplates suicide when he can't have the one he loves?
...Right.
Anywho, seeing as Edward Cullen is the prettiest "vampire" EVER, I suppose fangirls would take an immediate disliking to this. (Like I give a damn...)
Anyway, Edward lives out his pathetically "gorgeous" life with his vampire lover/toy Bella and their daughter, the spawn of satan, Rene-- ...I give up trying to pronounce her name.
What do *I* say to that? Well, for starters, he's--most arguably--the oldest virgin in the history of the oldest virgins every recorded. Somehow, I can't understand how he has pale skin but goes into the sun and fucking SPARKLES. How the fuck do you sparkle with pale skin? I'm pretty sure even that Count Dracula himself can't answer that...
Anywho, as Bella may see him as "kind", "caring", "stubborn"... Poor girl. For an "intelligent" person, you sure are one DUMB retard. Edward is ABUSIVE! He is insecure, Bella! Look it up!
Who the hell watches you sleep at night(and you don't even know the motherfucker, either)? Who the hell contemplates suicide when he can't have the one he loves?
...Right.
Anywho, seeing as Edward Cullen is the prettiest "vampire" EVER, I suppose fangirls would take an immediate disliking to this. (Like I give a damn...)
Anyway, Edward lives out his pathetically "gorgeous" life with his vampire lover/toy Bella and their daughter, the spawn of satan, Rene-- ...I give up trying to pronounce her name.
Retarded Fangirl: Like OMG! Twilight has a happy ending! Edward Cullen issofuckinghotlikeOMGIcan'ttakeitanymore!
Sensible Person: Yeah, uh...Shut the hell up.
Sensible Person: Yeah, uh...Shut the hell up.
by Infinite Structure April 28, 2009
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Sparkley sugar daddy (Old men who like to spoil their young girlfriends) that is a peeping tom and has an un-natural obsession with a rather clingy girl.
"Screw Edward Cullen, I support Cedric Diggory"
"Edward Cullen is a great example of dirty old men you usually meet over the internet"
"Edward Cullen is a great example of dirty old men you usually meet over the internet"
by Snape loves you January 26, 2010
Get the Edward Cullen mug.Edward Cullen meets Squidward from Spongebob. Good term to use if you are a Twilighter who does not take yourself too seriously, or, better yet, one who absolutely detests Stephenie Meyer and finds Edward to be somewhat, well, squid-faced.
Psh, yeah, would you shut up about Squidward Cullen or whoever it is you're obsessed with these days?
by that one odd hottie July 1, 2008
Get the Squidward Cullen mug.