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Cryptic Shitbags

When someone is being very Cryptic and withholding important information or news.

This person knows that you desperately need this information, but as they are a Cryptic Shitbag they release only tiny bits of information, despite many hours of questioning, politeness and bribery.

They may imply and insuate possible answers, but often these answers only contain the smallest nuggets of truth.

These people are Cryptic Shitbags.
Rufus: You were gone a long time, did your Mum tell you when and where the Funeral will be?
GF: No. She's playing Cryptic Shitbags.
by Little Brown Bear November 24, 2011
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armchair critic

A pretentious film, movie, TV, or food critic. Has little to no real knowledge of film criticism, music theory beyond a few blurbs they read on Rotten Tomatoes or IMDB, etc yet gives condescending or trollish advice on internet message boards about how everyone else's taste sucks.

Often associated with hipsters or other "counter-culture" niches who think that dissing anything "mainstream" automatically makes them looks smart or "deeper" than everyone else, but in reality they end up looking more like a self-caricature.

Similar in many ways to the armchair philosopher, armchair comedian, armchair politician, etc. As a result of spending too much time online and having only very stupid people to compare themselves to, they develop a false sense of grandeur in spite of their mediocrity.
Tom acts like he's an expert on movies but in reality he's just an armchair critic.
by Anon989989 April 19, 2016
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Criticism

What the majority of the people in the world can't take.
Let's use music as the criticism here:
Criticizer: Personally, I think your vocal range is a bit limited.
Person Who Can't Take Criticism: ppfft stfu u cant do better at all
Criticizer: Does that matter? Since when did pointing out another person's flaws mean you had to be better than that person?
Person Who Can't Take Criticism: always
by Mr.Musec September 6, 2011
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critical mas

a term used to describe a burrito that is so stuffed that it begins to break out of the tortilla
Dude, steak and chicken in the one burrito?? That thing is at critical mas!
by thebetterfriend2 April 4, 2017
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Criticster

A person that judges everyone all the time. Criticizes everything.
Louis is such a fucking Criticster.
by Nahos Kianattap November 13, 2018
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Ultra Critical Mass

Large numbers of complaints that must reach disciplinary authorities before action is taken to discipline or protect the public. Especially relates to attorneys and their bar associations who oversee grievances and egregious, unethical conduct. Also can relate to doctors, police, etc. Ultra Critical Mass can take years, decades, or an entire career before it is reached. The implication is that large numbers of people are harmed by a single individual while Ultra Critical Mass is building. Is often the product of biased reviewers, cronyism, and/or bureaucracy.
The file cabinet containing attorney Doe's voluminous complaints finally collapsed; the bar is now investigating some of those complaints; Ultra Critical Mass has occurred.
by PatriciaNoz February 6, 2006
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Critic Whore

Tends to be someone who chooses not to like a band because they are popular or are becoming popular, or have 1 fucking song on the radio.
The Asshole Critic Whore thinks modest mouse is a sell-out because they have 1 song on the radio thats not really that great.
by Dan Mclean April 19, 2005
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