The barnyard manlet, also known as the cabbage patch manlet, is a microscopically minuscule misanthropic manlet who has been so completely and utterly driven to madness by the devastatingly deadly disability of manletism (the catastrophically crippling curse of excruciatingly and eternally existing as a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10), that he now indulges in a countryside lifestyle by frolicking around like the tiny fairy that he is in barnyards while wearing flowery and frilly summer dresses and high heels. Quickly adapting to his new environment, akin to the stunted sub-aquatic murloc manlet, the bitterly boyish barnyard manlet is always eager to please his superlatively superior, supremely magnificent manmore farmer overlord by enthusiastically serving as a chew toy for the towering farmer's guard dogs, as a garden gnome (naturally), a doorstop, a leg rest, a spittoon and as a Stalinesquely stunted hobbit scarecrow after rightfully receiving a hanging wedgie from a laughing pig named Napoleon and then sobbingly dangling for hours on end suspended by his pink panties from a toothpick embedded in a field in the middle of nowhere. Manlet Animal Farm. In his spare time the barnyard manlet enjoys mud wrestling chickens (before having his way with them) and chugging down copious amounts of Hobbit Ale (made from fermented rabbit poop and petty-dwarf roots) mixed with horse semen (in the desperate hope of finally triggering a growth spurt), as is the dwarven tradition.
Barnyard manlet: Hey there sweet cheeks, do you wanna buy some of my Hobbit Ale? Samantha: Absolutely not! Now cease your tall tales manletspeak, choke on your enema juice, posture check yourself, pick up your high heels and then go cry in the nearest manlet pit, you grotesquely gnomish, petite and puny, ridiculous runt of an effeminate Ewok mama's boy midget monstrosity! Manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator October 2, 2024
Get the barnyard manlet mug.The mobbed-up manlet, also known as the mafia manlet, is a diminutively stunted member or associate of the Italian-American Mafia. The aptly named, 5ft5 small, Nicodemo "Little Nicky" Scarfo, who blunderously served as boss of the Philadelphia Mafia from 1981 to 1990, perfectly exemplifies the deeply flawed and Napoleon complex-driven nature of the mobbed-up manlet. This treacherous and terminally insecure manlet boy ordered the cowardly 1984 murder of his best friend and six-foot tall mafia captain Salvatore Testa because Little Nicky was catastrophically jealous of Testa's superlatively superior height and the resultant fact that Salvatore Testa was beloved, widely respected and admired as a real man, while Little Nicky was forever doomed to be looked down upon as the petite and utterly insignificant sissy manlet that he was.
Why are those mobbed-up manlets crying tiny tears of manlet rage in front of that strip club over there? The minuscule manlets tried to shake the club down for protection money but the bouncers didn't allow the silly mafia manlets inside because they understandably assumed the stunted manlets to be children. Lol, manlets BTFO.
by ManletDepreciator August 19, 2024
Get the mobbed-up manlet mug.Manlets are males who are shorter than 5ft10. They suffer from manletism and can often be found futilely lifting weights in the local manlet pit, in a hilarious attempt at increasing their nonexistent masculinity or prancing around town in high heels after embracing their inherent effeminacy.
Look at those silly manlets tussling over a pair of high heels over there! Oh, I thought they were just a bunch of little girls...
by ManletDepreciator July 14, 2024
Get the manlets mug.The martial arts manlet is a minuscule and utterly insignificant manlet, who has, in an absolutely futile attempt at overcoming his insurmountably devastating manletism, hilariously decided that in order to bolster his notoriously fragile self-esteem and in a laughably delusional effort at competing with the towering manmores that terrify him, he should pursue an ill-fated career in martial arts. Closely related to the stubby and microscopic, gym coping manlet pit dweller, the overcompensating martial arts manlet can often be found engaging in mortifying public catfights with other martial arts manlets, throwing a hissy fit after being bullied by other children or crying bitter tears of manlet rage after having once again been soundly and easily defeated by a laughing manmore. Willfully ignorant of the plainly obvious truth that no amount of time wasted by bodybuilding or sparring will change the fact that he is a dwarfishly stunted, elflike and inherently effeminate runt of a sissy manlet boy who would be the belle of the ball in a women's prison, the Napoleon complex-driven martial arts manlet personifies peak manletism.
Lol, why is that spandex wearing turbo-manlet twirling around beneath that table lamp while blasting Short People over there? I think the silly martial arts manlet is shadow-boxing. Eye of the Manlet. Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 21, 2024
Get the martial arts manlet mug.A deleteriously diminutive, overcompensating and money-grubbing manlet boy who futilely seeks to overcome his devastatingly desolating manletism by imprudently purchasing expensive goods such as gold-plated high heels and jewel-encrusted step stools. The puny materialistic manlet can often be detected as he effeminately prances around in upscale boutiques, accompanied by his giggling and squabbling clique of preposterously petite, pint-sized materialistic manlet girlfriends. Here the seriously stunted silly sissy manlets put on tiny, little fashion shows by daintily skipping along a catwalk consisting of an empty shoe box as the delusional runway manlets delightedly display their prospective new short shorts, summer dresses and high heels while the surrounding fawning manlet fairies shower them with rose petals and girlishly sip strawberry margaritas out of pink ampoules.
Manmore 1: Lol, look at that garishly dressed materialistic manlet prancing around wearing his new mink coat and gold-plated high heels! Manmore 2: At least it only cost one poor minklet his life to make that microscopic manlet's lilliputian, little coatlet. Manmore 1: Hahahahaha!
by ManletDepreciator August 29, 2024
Get the materialistic manlet mug.Representing the pint-sized personification of manlet rage and standing shockingly small at 5 foot nothing, Chris "Bagel Boss" Morgan rose to short-lived infamy when he threw a hissy fit extraordinaire at a Long Island Bagel Boss in 2019. After falsely claiming that the friendly female cashier had smirked at his comically dwarfed height, Chris "Sissy Manlet" Morgan was recorded by amused onlookers as he was instantly overwhelmed by manlet rage and went on a childish tirade, furiously ranting about how women (understandably) hate him due to his sensationally stunted stature and egregiously evident Napoleon complex. Subsequently to being asked by a much taller customer to calm down and grow up, the rageaholic turbo-manlet petulantly proclaimed: "Shut your mouth! You're not God, or my father, or my boss!" - only to then transform into a tiny, little hamster when a heroic manmore made short work of the midget monstrosity and tackled him. Helpful height enthusiasts later found his now defunct YouTube channel featuring many similar videos which triggered an escalating series of well-deserved trolling sagas, eventually culminating in the Bagel Boss Manlet being cut down to size (more so than he naturally was) and thereby stopped short of realizing his delusional dream of following in the microscopic footsteps of ill-famed celebrity turbo-manlets such as Tiny Tom Cruise and Kevin "Homunculus" Hart by becoming just another high heels wearing comic relief Hollywood Oompa Loompa manlet.
Materialistic manlet: WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HIGH HEELS?! Manmore: Cease your manletspeak and don't go Bagel Boss Manlet on me. Here, bounce around on this stress ball and dry your tiny tears with this tampon, you silly, little manlet boy.
by ManletDepreciator September 18, 2024
Get the Bagel Boss Manlet mug.The medieval manlet (a dwarfed male shorter than 5ft10, who suffers from the devastating disability of manletism) is a microscopically minuscule midget manlet who has been driven to madness by manletism and now exceedingly enjoys engaging in mortifying public live-action fantasy role-playing games with other deranged medieval manlets by first wrapping each other up in a tiny tinfoil armor and then charging towards one another atop of hamsters while wielding improvised toothpick lances in a decidedly diminutive mockery of a medieval jousting tournament, until one of the malignant manlet knights is struck and catapulted into the adjacent manlet pit, where he is then stoned to death with confiscated high heels by the laughing and jeering manmores in the bewildered crowd of towering onlookers. The triumphant little manlet princess is then declared queen for a day and is allowed to pick a pair of high heels out of the manlet pit to wear to his victory pizza dinner later at Chuck E. Cheese before then being introduced to his new role as a medieval manlet mantlet, which is a portable pint-sized, literally subhuman wall or shield used for absorbing projectiles in medieval warfare. He can also be mounted on a wheeled carriage by use of a fifteen-inch rectally inserted suction cup dildo to then partially protect one grown-up soldier.
Janet: Hey, why is my pet hamster coughing up tiny pieces of tinfoil again? Evelyn: No worries, he probably just ate another medieval manlet. That nanoscopic peewee runt of a pipsqueak manlet won't do your much larger hamster any harm.
by ManletDepreciator September 30, 2024
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