A depraved sex act that is not clearly understood outside of the province of Manitoba. What is known is it involves a case of Labatt Blue, a short stool, and some sort of animal pelt (usually deer, but bear is also common). Despite its popularity, it remains one of the leading causes of death in rural Canada.
by Canadaphiler March 26, 2010
Get the Manitoba Snowblower mug.Of course Manitoba is essentially the French Dakota. And everyone knows that the Dakotas are home to some of the most sexually depraved humans this side of Bixby. Armed with that as background information, the Manitoba Monkey Wrench is the utensil that is found in every man’s tackle box, toolbox and utility belt. It is the very tool that can keep you alive on those subarctic nights in the local pub.
Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”.
Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam as a hickey from Kenickie is to Rizzo. It’s not only something to cherish but to be worn with pride.
The Kicker: As with everything, sometimes the giver of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench can go overboard and hit the harlot too hard, those rendering her oral sexual skills as a thing of the past. Once this happens, the harlot becomes a short-order cook and invariably becomes a victim of Meth use.
Thirdly: If you’re lucky enough to encounter a lady of the night that is not only skilled in the arts of crushing her own pride but also knows how what the difference between a neutral-zone trap and a one-man fore check then by all means brand the woman as a madam worthy of Manitoba’s highest honor.
Now might be a good time for an illustrative story. Once there was a logger that frequented the long and lonesome roads between Winnipeg and Dauphin. While he has no doubt dipped his quill into the ink of every truck stop, rest stop and out-house prostitute on those roads, he does have taste. He knows that if a bawdy-house floozy has a large knot on the side of her head from contact with a swiftly exerted monkey wrench to the cranium of a Canuck slut, she is a price catch. This mandible indention is a bade of honor among the native hootch peddlers. He would not only pay her for her wares but also throw in a hearty salmon biscuit sammich with round bacon. They might also ice-skate on the frozen lakes (weather permitting) and rarely, but occasionally he might give her a handshake and a heart-felt “good job”.
Back to the definition… The Manitoba Monkey Wrench is to the Maple Leaf Madam as a hickey from Kenickie is to Rizzo. It’s not only something to cherish but to be worn with pride.
The Kicker: As with everything, sometimes the giver of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench can go overboard and hit the harlot too hard, those rendering her oral sexual skills as a thing of the past. Once this happens, the harlot becomes a short-order cook and invariably becomes a victim of Meth use.
Thirdly: If you’re lucky enough to encounter a lady of the night that is not only skilled in the arts of crushing her own pride but also knows how what the difference between a neutral-zone trap and a one-man fore check then by all means brand the woman as a madam worthy of Manitoba’s highest honor.
When Pierre saw Delorise turn around with a mouth full of Round Bacon, he could see the mark of the Manitoba Monkey Wrench and knew that this woman was worth more than an expired Trojan, she was worth a sporty stint of ice skating and some wool socks. For he had heard about the Manitoban mark of beauty but had never gazed upon its call with his natural eyes.
by BabySealClubSamich December 1, 2007
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It is a canadian sex act where milking girl is on all fours, with her breasts hanging in free air, then they are milked like a cow, with occasionally giving her nipple crunch, and some light punches in the breasts. To make it more interesting usually a man also does the girl in her ass in doggie style during this.
When she said she had delivered baby just a few months ago, the gang got excited to do Manitoba milk bag with her
by Killer Gunshot November 28, 2010
Get the Manitoba Milk Bag mug.by Hydra_Agent_42 December 20, 2021
Get the Manitoba Queef mug.The act of pouring Manitoba's select maple syrup over a woman's anus and penetrating, only to have a second male come in and slurp up the remnants.
by TyPel911 January 26, 2022
Get the Manitoba Moose Pie mug.The dirty, scruffy unmaintained moustache which sits above your upper lip can be identified in the province of Manitoba from and can even be seen worn by some PipeLiners in British Columbia.
by CamMac01 October 16, 2022
Get the The Manitoba Mudflap mug.Grandview, Manitoba is not Dauphin or Roblin but close by. For the 5 people who know Gilbert Plains, GV is 10 minutes away.
by Susie_253 February 16, 2009
Get the Grandview, Manitoba mug.