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If you can’t handle me at my fruitcake, you don’t deserve me at my tiramisu

A play on “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”, with a little more specificity. Fruitcake is heavy and dense (stupid). Tiramisu is decadent, but light and perky (has it all).
He said I was being dramatic and irrational, so I told him, ‘if you can’t handle me at my fruitcake, you don’t deserve me at my tiramisu!’
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can you dont 

A meme where a human usually swaps words with grammatically incorrect words
can you dont by True Vee Vee December 15, 2017

can u dont 

A way of saying "can u not" but not in a mainstream conformist way.
(gets slaped)

can u dont u lil shit??
can u dont by BEN THE BEAR 07 December 5, 2018

I dont know, can you? 

Person A: Teacher can i go to the bathroom?
Teacher: I dont know, can you?! 1?1!1!?11!!1
*Person A is annoyed as fuck*
Person A: Fuck you stupid fucktard teacher. Suck my balls and lick my ass!