Sod's Logic

The use of Sod's Law to one's own advantage.

Used Sod's Logic today. Really didn't want it to rain on my picnic today, so I brought an umbrella with me.
OR
I really want this person I fancy at work to talk to me. Today I didn't wash, do my hair or wear clean clothes and I'm hungover. 99% guaranteed today's the day they start speaking to me.

by @LockyMcLocky July 01, 2016

Alcoholic's Logic

Type of logic an Alcoholic has, whether they are in recovery or not. This logic may not make sense to anyone who isn't an alcoholic.

Alcoholic: When you fix that kitchen cabinet to the wall to house the double oven, for extra peace of mind I'd like you to screw in two brackets, fixed to the wall behind the cabinet, under the shelf the oven will sit on.
Non alcoholic: Here we go, alcoholic's logic again!

by Little Computer Nerd July 09, 2012

ezme logic

The ideas in which things only make sense to that ones person because they r absolute bullshit

Ezme: I can run through the current of a waterfall
:everyone else: ezme logic.

by Idfkasksomeoneelse September 08, 2023

Cat logic

A phenemenon where cats do something that seems weird to us but somehow makes sense to them

John: Why is your cat sitting on my pizza??
Jack: I don't know man, its a cat logic thing.

by Catloafer March 30, 2023

Customer Logic

Throwing all reasoning out the window and being the stupidest fucking moron you can humanly be.

It operates under three basic principles:

1. Complete lack of accountability (even actively refusing to take any)
2. Complete lack of empathy (i.e. sociopathic behavior)
3. Unwarranted self importance (i.e. severe narcissism)

Formal logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: if you park on No Parkin areas, you get a parking ticket.

Customer logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: OMG IT WAS JUST A FUCKING MINUTE I WILL GO TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS TO DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER AND ASK FOR FREE LATTES FOR LIFE BECAUSE THEY SHOULD'VE TOTALLY WARNED ME ABOUT IT AND WILL SUE EVERYONE BECAUSE MY PARKING TICKET IS EVERYBODY ELSE'S FAULT.

by MrDanteSesma December 17, 2019

Zoe Logic

When something makes absolutely 0 sense. And there’s no telling them otherwise. And when you actually think about what was said. It makes even less sense.

*goes on vacation
“You don’t love me”
“Wow. Zoe logic.”

by martinichio August 26, 2022

Stoff Logic

Thoughts or ideas that make no logical sense and often contradict themselves.

Retard: Tin cans are made of aluminum

Black Guy: Dat's some Stoff Logic right dere!

by PinkiePieMLP May 01, 2012