Air cigarette

For those moments when you really need to smoke a cigarette, but don’t have one or is trying to smoke less. The only logical course of action is to pretend-smoke a cigarette and pretend-puff smoke out of your mouth.

“I gazed into the sweet sky as I pull nothing out of my pocket and smoke an air cigarette.”

by H@ckerman August 15, 2022

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Get the Air cigarettemug.

Cigarette distance

The unit of measurement that smokers use between destinations to determine if they should light up a cigarette, with the reasonable certainty it will be smoked by the time they arrive. White trash only use this measurement when giving directions to other white trash.

Jimmy to his common law wife: How far is the Walmart from the bar?

Common law wife to Jimmy: the cigarette distance is about 3 cigarettes.

by Grant Rampus February 15, 2019

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Get the Cigarette distancemug.

Cigarette Boatin'

noun - slang

cig· a· rette | \ ˌsi-gə-ˈret , ˈsi-gə-ˌret \ boat| \ ˈbōt \
variants: or less commonly cigaret plural boats

Definition of Cigarette Boatin':

1. a A slender erection, inconvenient as left unbridled; whereupon the slickhard proboscis is arranged vertically,

tucked behind the waistband of the dong-bearer, pointing the toadstool cap directly toward the head of said

dong-bearer. In appearance not unlike a cigarette racing boat at full throttle.

b A means of obfuscation applied to an inopportune or hastened logjam, affixing it upright akin to an obelisk(see

erection) in ones sweat pants or similarly 'Prize Hog at Market' lower body attire, in the interest of covering one's

humiliation and discomfiture at both the physical symptoms and societal repercussions of producing such a

monument when deemed immodest or inelegant.

2. Indecorum slab pointing to the North Star, framed by boxers, belt, fanny pack or otherwise available fabric and

leather materials expeditiously gathered to bind and truss the protruding edifice or superstructure. Framework

for a boner.

Examples of Cigarette Boatin' in a Sentence

the encounter at Hot Yoga 'Equinox' in South Beach, Miami

"A lot of people think that Frank is talking about his car when he refers to his Cadillac, but he means his boat. He's always Cigarette Boatin' with his towel in the locker room like we don't see his cool dick."

"This is a restricted access server room! You can't wander around in here Cigarette Boatin in those Ed Hardy board shorts you clearly slept in."

"Whenever I'm at the firing range I totally go Cigarette Boatin' for two reasons; 1. I'm ALWAYS hard when I shoot guns, 2. If someone looks down they will one hundred percent see the tip of my sweet dick. Bro, this dick is nuts."

by Iain Danger April 2, 2022

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