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spam/telemarketer defense

Refers to a person's using the well-known prevalence of widespread fake/mass-advertising correspondence as an excuse for his not obeying/acknowledging a 100%-legitimate-but-unwelcome message he has received, such as a hefty bill, restraining order, or other upsetting/disappointing directive that he does not wish to comply with ("Well, it made no sense to me, so I honestly believed it was just a fake message, and simply shrugged it off"). The effectiveness and/or defense-worthiness of said practice --- and your chances of being let off the hook as a result --- can sometimes be further bolstered by "pre-innocentizing" yourself (such as frequently showing up in court for no reason and claiming every time that you'd received an order to appear, and then finally --- after being irritably told for the umpteenth time by the court-clerk that they'd never sent you a summons --- declaring in a frustrated huff, "Fine... well, I guess somebody's been playing sick jokes on me, so from now on I'm just gonna simply IGNORE any and all such notices I receive!") sometime before committing whatever infractions would likely result in said unwelcome orders, so that you can appear justified in your non-compliance with what you supposedly thought was yet another fake order.
I successfully used the spam/telemarketer defense when asked why I hadn't answered a court-summons; I just said, "Oh, that notice was REAL? Oh my --- well, I'd honestly believed it was a fake message... since I've had so many pushy telemarketers and con-men harass me --- sometimes even falsely claiming to be tax-auditors or law-enforcement personnel --- that I'd long ago adopted an 'ignore any and all such notices as fake' policy."
by QuacksO August 9, 2018
mugGet the spam/telemarketer defensemug.

preemptive defensiveness

1) When an ultra “woke” liberal is so full of shit, they call out there own BS before you can.

2) A liberal that can read your thoughts, ESP, and scolds you for something you’re, supposedly, about to say or accuse them of.

3) A liberal who obstructs your ability to refute him/her/they/them/we/it/blaugh/
hugh?/whatever. They reference an attack on their position or themselves, before you do.
1) It: “Gender fluid” is a real term. I know because I heard it on The View. And, don’t mansplain to me that it’s not a real thing! Me: I’m teaching a biology class. Sit your nappy ass down, knock off the preemptive defensiveness, and learn something of real value, besides nonsensical feminazi terms.

2) It: Were you just about to “mansplain” how to fix my computer? Me: Um? You, sorry them, called the I.T. department because your computer wasn’t plugged into the wall. Stop your preemptive defensiveness and learn something the rest of the world already knows.

3) She: The male patriarchy is responsible for these tyrannical men hiring scantly dressed women at this facility. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about contracts, free will, customer requests, or that most of the employees are female! Men like you are the reason we, women, don’t make enough money to be liberated from the shackles of oppression! All men are controlling pigs, and you’re a disgusting, intolerant, misogynist. Me: No need for preemptive defensiveness Ms. Swift. These are the dancers you hired for your new music video. She: Oh. Well send them backstage and get me some coffee, peasant!
by Nick Harbeston April 17, 2020
mugGet the preemptive defensivenessmug.

Defense commitments

NATO has defense commitments to one another.
by fdsjkhfipewnmvmlksde November 7, 2022
mugGet the Defense commitmentsmug.

The 'I have kids' defense

The ultimate trump card. When you're down and out it's the last defense you have against people trying to justify your repositioning in society.
Hym "A prime example of the 'I have kids' defense is KRISTI NOEM. In her interview after it was revealed that she shot her own dog, she DESPERATELY tried to employ this defense before being shoved out of the spotlight. 'I'm a mother! I wanna go upies! Not downies! Nooooooooooo!' Heheheheh... And a more recent example is Andrew Tate's interview after getting out recently. 'I have kids! I'm supposed to be able to do whatever I want! Anything and everything is justifiable when you have kids!' Ha! It's ALWAYS THE CASE! He stole? He had to steal for the kids! Why does policy need to change? The kids? Why did we bomb those kids? The kids of course. But your kids are just you. Nothing changed when you had them. Maybe, socially, you moved into the class of people that other people have to give a shit about by way of extension. That's not real a change though. Your kids = You. Their inflated value exists only in relationship to you. Saying 'MY kids are more important than anything' is no different that saying 'I'm more important than anything.' You. Same thing."
by Hym Iam August 24, 2024
mugGet the The 'I have kids' defensemug.

Israel Defense Forces

Losers.

A bunch of violently fascist losers who carry out the agenda of an apartheid state. They typically like to focus on eradicating civilians - generally, woman and children are their favorite targets.
Do you know what the Israel Defense Forces do?

Them? They commit genocide.
by jane doe 33445566 August 17, 2024
mugGet the Israel Defense Forcesmug.

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