mormon handjob

Noun: a sexual act that involves manual stimulation of the genitals through the recipients clothing.
Ann gave Mitt a "mormon handjob" to make him feel better after his loss on election night.
by TriDickUnicorn March 14, 2014
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Mormon Virgin

A girl who maintains that she's still a virgin despite numerous bouts of anal intercourse.

A girl who believes she can remain a virgin if she only does anal
"My girlfriend will only let me put it in the butt because she's a mormon virgin"
by TrypticonUNnet September 12, 2008
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Mormon Crisis

The self realization that the rest of the world is having fun without you and your Mormon lifestyle. Typically a late 20's or early 30's something male who has never had a drink of alcohol or had sex with anybody other than his wife of 10 years. The male will rebel with his apostate and non-religious friends to equal a freshman in college, only 10-15 years older than the norm. Many males suffering a Mormon Crisis and leave the church because they are happier and feel the church has been holding them back from happiness.
Troy and Nathan are suffering a Mormon Crisis down at the local bar, they are out of control being that this is the first drink they've ever had and they are both 32 years old.
by tyehao September 20, 2010
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mormon guilt

Like catholic guilt but less wine with Joseph smith fan fiction mixed in. Catholics invented guilt; Mormons perfected it .
When you masturbate 30 minutes before scripture study and then that Mormon guilt sets in.
by Guilty January 24, 2016
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Reverse Mormon

The Reverse Mormon is a term to describe any obscure sex position. Used when you have no idea what you just did with your partner but you feel as if there should be a name.
The origins of the word play upon the fact that the Mormon religion practices abstinence and, thus the Reverse Mormon.
Well, we just definitely did the Reverse Mormon.
by HungoverMormon January 02, 2011
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Mormon Halloween

The 24th of July is a regular day across the world, but in Utah, it’s Mormon Halloween (commonly known as Pioneer Day). It’s when Mormon individuals, bored with their own lives, dress up as Pioneers and prance around in their bonnets and aprons, (but somehow retain the right to were modern-day foot apparel). Somehow, in their dizzying euphoria, they don’t understand that they look like JACKASSES. Perhaps, just perhaps, it’s the after-effects of too many antidepressants.
Jimmy: “You coming over today Jonny?”

Jonny: “Don’t you know what today is?”

Jimmy: “No…what?”

Jonny: “It’s FUCKING Mormon Halloween.”

Jimmy: “O’Shit…there coming for us…they want 10%.”

Jonny: “Were fucking dead!”
by Morgay July 24, 2008
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mormon trespass

Preserving mormon virginity by engaging in anal sex.
I'm a virgin, except for the mormon trespass... you know, in this ass.
by Nifefight May 11, 2008
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