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computer guru

Someone who is extremely skilled with computers. A step above your run-of-the-mill computer genius.
When the Internet stopped working, Dave installed an Internet proxy server on his phone (which still had Internet), and reconfigured their wireless router to forward TCP/IP packets through his phone so that his family could still watch Netflix on their laptops. He is quite the computer guru!
by guy354 September 17, 2016
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computer bird

A person who hunts and pecks for letters while typing.
by Mrylou July 31, 2016
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Computer Breakfast

When one substitutes the first and most important meal of the day to use their computer instead.
I was going to go make myself some bacon and eggs, but I ended up having a computer breakfast instead.
by Originalnilson December 12, 2012
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Crowd Computing

A sub-section of Cloud Computing offered by service providers that under-invest in both server infrastructure and technical support staff.

Companies that outsource to them do not realise that they are being crammed in like sardines to the vendors infrastructure which is nowhere near adequate. They only start to realise they are up shit creek when they try to contact technical support for help only to be placed in the longest most painful telephone queue of their life.
Afghan: "None of our 1,000 employees can access their online email application, my CIO's already been fired and I'm next for the chop...I opened a support ticket with the vendor 5 days ago and this is the 26th time I've tried to get through to them on the phone...I am dead meat man, dead meat <sniff>."

Tragic: "Well Afghan, that's Crowd Computing for you."
by Tragic Stan November 20, 2010
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Computer science

(n.) An insanely complex bunch of imaginate stuff to insanely create a model of the real stuffs with it in a complicated way.
Computer science is a bunch imaginative stuff, which at the same time does and does not exist, made out of numbers which create a place to put all the knowledge into it.
by SirDrFalkSigurdMildslaff October 20, 2019
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School computer

The shittiest machine ever.
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
student: I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL COMPUTER!!!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!
by Lovecraftian_Horror#1 January 19, 2021
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Computer Vomit

When your computer (usually involves a Microsoft product) decides to print or display a screen full of unrecognizable jibberish. This often will happen for no apparent reason and at the worst possible times, like when you are trying to save something important or watch porn. This usually leads most people to either destroy said computer in a fit of uncontrollable rage or break down in tears, whichever works better.
I was trying to print out my weekly inventory report and then, BAM, computer vomit. Where's the blowtorch?!
by ccham March 12, 2011
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