Conqueror's Wipe

When you have to really put some effort into passing a massive shit, and put one foot up on the bath to wipe your arse, having totally dominated the toilet.

After eating a 40oz steak the night before, it took GP half an hour to pass the results, but the Conqueror's Wipe afterwards was totally, totally justified

by Gronksucker March 27, 2019

wet wipe

William

Will
Schmuck

Such a wet wipe

by Okbestie October 26, 2020

wipe a mole

The act of wiping a stool that stays lodged in your ass, hiding there like a mole in a hole.

Too many chicken chili cheese fries last night, had to wipe a mole all morning long.

by Luvsyoumor January 17, 2018

Shweat Wipe

The act of wiping ones inexplicably shitty arse without having actually passed a stool.

"Man, you would not have believed that was just a shweat wipe, I saw sweetcorn!"

by The Last Lizard King July 5, 2016

ass wipe

an insult for a fucking idiot who’s stupid as hell

erica is a fucking ass wipe

by Yungsavagealex October 17, 2019

insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.

Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"

by Bill Lowbiter March 2, 2014

Wayward Wipe

The accidental spreading of poop on your butt when wiping and not getting it fully removed.

Husband: I pooped but I think I had a wayward wipe because it still smells back there.
Wife: What is wrong with you?!?!

by Urban humor July 30, 2017