Taint Shelf

The tiny, almost useless, passenger accommodation on most modern sportsbikes. Often referred to as a “pillion”, this small, hard cushion has the effect of bludgeoning the area between the passenger’s genitals and anus throughout the ride. Because of its height relative to the driver and generally awkward seating position, these seats have a reputation for deterring passengers from wanting to ride along. These seats are a characteristic of the split tail style of motorcycles, opposed to the conventional “banana” seat (single piece) design. The prevalence of this pragmatically useless design can be attributed to the greatly improved aesthetics and improved control of the motorcycle while in full tuck, as the driver can scoot back into the shelf to secure themselves from sliding further rearward.

“Dude, do you remember having to ride bitch on my Zx10r?”
“Yeah bra, my ass still huts from that retarded taint shelf…”

by Thirdgengearhead May 12, 2015

taint welding

To reach a point of stress, anticipation, or engaging an act that is so extreme that you clench the cheeks of your buttocks together so tightly, that your taint is effectively welded together.

John was driving so recklessly that Steve was taint welding in the passenger's seat

by TK42FUN May 4, 2015

Taint balls

Anal sex when the guys balls slap up against her taint and his taint.

Rick: Dude, I had such taint balls after giving Susie anal.

by Zipola August 11, 2018

taint dial

when shitting in a public restroom, one may be afraid to rest your phone on a strange surface. the only other option is to rest it in your underwear as a safety net. depending on how the long the wipe takes, one may forget to remove the phone. once the pants are pulled up and snug, you may dial the phone with your taint

Damien: "i was on the toilet so long the other night, i forgot i rested a mean game of angry birds on my drawers. wouldn't you know when all was said and done, i taint dialed my mom. plus, the phone smelled like burnt tacos for a week."

butt dial
pocket dial

by luvitwenucallmebigpasta July 17, 2012

Tainted Willy

The act of poking a poo covered finger into the facial orifice of another person causing immediate smell shock.

My ear smells horrible and I am in a state of shock because Billy gave me a tainted willy last night.

by candy ass124 January 19, 2010

Tainted Meat

When a girl (eg. Caitlin) is ragged about by a famous rapper (eg. Big T) she is then tainted and no men would want to enter her cave of doom.

Nah mate her batty stinks she’s also tainted meat due to getting a big Blackpool slong inside her.

by PadddeeTheNonce February 29, 2020

suck taint

A term used in order to tell someone to fuck off or to say suck my dick, usually in a situation where the person you say it to is making no sense or they're an idiot

OP:" Where are we?"
Victim: " Goodhue County one Goodhue County nine"
OP: "Suck taint! That's not helpful"

by QuebxcOnVocab July 23, 2020