Jesus

Doode, those shades are so Jesus!
by alskdhghricne October 04, 2008
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jesus

The world's greatest ever conman.

Jesus was the conman every conman since has tried to be. His skills were thousands of years ahead of his time which is how he was so convincing.

His incredible cons have managed to convince over 1 billion people that he was, in fact, the son of God.
Jesus turns water into wine. Everyone is amazed. What they didn't realise is that they were so drunk already that they didn't remember seeing him switch the barrels.

Jesus wakes the dead. Everyone is amazed. No-one saw when he slipped the guy who "died" twenty pieces of silver to fake his own death and then "awaken".

Miracles, my ass
by XLr8oR_2020 June 26, 2010
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Jesus

An imaginary superhero for people with no fucking hobby.
by Duderoo April 29, 2010
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Jesus

1. Don't worry it's all good.

2. That is the best or the bomb or the greatest.

3. Calling out your shot or try in a sport that will gain points for you or your team.
1. Yo man, It's all Jesus

2. Did you see that game, it was Jesus.

3. Shoot a basketball then call out: "Jesus" and the ball goes in for points.
by bsbk May 08, 2007
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Jesus

Star of the fiction work The New Testament. Worshiped by Christians.
Jesus was a guy who lived in the year 0-30
by lgyd dfgi July 05, 2011
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Jesus

This guy who was just trying to make a come up with his fire ass mixtape about being nice to people and not banging your neighbor's wife.

Ceasar was in studio at the time and was selling his wimpy ass mixes by the thousands, meanwhile no body listened to Jesus' mixtape and he got nailed to a tree because his poppin' beats just weren't up to par for the times.

After he died on the tree and was buried, he decided his career wasn't over and got up out of his tomb and started dropping fire beats again. But no one listened still, and he decided to just leave and go back to heaven where his mixes were appreciated.

He eventually got a fan club, but they've pretty much ruined his music for the rest of the us real fans ( S/O to my homies at Westboro Baptist for that )...

Nowadays there's this goat banging rival fan group of a DJ called Allah, who refuse to get with Jesus' beats, so they've started a clan war with the Jesus fans and it's getting fierce.
Yo! Look at Jesus dropping those fire beats!

beats mixtape goat fucker jesus fan club fire ass beats Westboro Baptist Church
by theonlycleanchipotlebathroom August 29, 2015
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Jesus

the realest nigga U will ever meet

John 3:27
Jesus came back from heaven and fucked shit up
by annsthemann November 20, 2014
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