Popcorn hands

n. Large, cauliflower-shaped phalanges, ill-suited for use during intercourse.

Hey, Angie... check out the set of popcorn hands on that guy.

by Oscar's Mom June 13, 2008

hand cream

That infamous post jerk-off semen on your hand that you don't quite know what to do with.

Johnny- Hurry up in there Brandon, we have to go.
Brandon- Give me a break Johnny, I've got a fist full of hand cream in here and nowhere to wipe it! Jeez!

by The Ugly Barnacle February 27, 2015

Cheeto Hand

1. The crusty orange powder that ends up on any finger you use to shove Cheetos into your face

I had to lick off my Cheeto hand before my girl came over....

by Cephalo August 28, 2005

ball hand

Act of putting hands down ones pant grabbing there genitals and slapping another person in the face

I just ball handed the shit outa that guy

by Pete April 29, 2004

hand wanding

An act used for manually penetrating an orifice for the purposes of pre lubrication prior to penetration via a limb, specially a hand, knuckle, finger, wrist or elbow... consent is a must for this activity...

Man, I’d love to give her a strong hand wanding, right up to the elbow...

by HandWander69 October 10, 2018

hand slamming

Intense and at times, violent masturbation.

"OMG I walking into the house and caught my sister hand slamming herself, my eyes will never be the same again."

by Daikaiju February 22, 2015

Museum Hands

When a person's hands get covered in cum resulting in being unable to touch anything, much like in a museum.

I couldn't turn the doorknob to get out of her bedroom because I had museum hands.

by Director October 23, 2014