When your computer gets a virus from surfing porno sites and/or watching on-line pornography.
Attributed to Lane Leipold
Attributed to Lane Leipold
"Hey Lane, you'd better stop watching that porno on your computer , or it will get the computer clap and you'll go blind!"
"I was checking out Jenna Jameson, and next thing I know my computer has the clap; thecomputer clap! "
"I was checking out Jenna Jameson, and next thing I know my computer has the clap; thecomputer clap! "
by Salty 40 May 12, 2018
Get the computer clapmug. A sub-section of Cloud Computing offered by service providers that under-invest in both server infrastructure and technical support staff.
Companies that outsource to them do not realise that they are being crammed in like sardines to the vendors infrastructure which is nowhere near adequate. They only start to realise they are up shit creek when they try to contact technical support for help only to be placed in the longest most painful telephone queue of their life.
Companies that outsource to them do not realise that they are being crammed in like sardines to the vendors infrastructure which is nowhere near adequate. They only start to realise they are up shit creek when they try to contact technical support for help only to be placed in the longest most painful telephone queue of their life.
Afghan: "None of our 1,000 employees can access their online email application, my CIO's already been fired and I'm next for the chop...I opened a support ticket with the vendor 5 days ago and this is the 26th time I've tried to get through to them on the phone...I am dead meat man, dead meat <sniff>."
Tragic: "Well Afghan, that's Crowd Computing for you."
Tragic: "Well Afghan, that's Crowd Computing for you."
by Tragic Stan November 20, 2010
Get the Crowd Computingmug. the opposite of a computer geek.
Jim used to have a computer, but it crashed one day and now he thinks it's broken for good. He has been offline for 3 years now. What a Computer Stooge!
by rolisk August 4, 2007
Get the computer stoogemug. A computer callous is located on the heel of your hand, usually the hand you use to move your mouse.
It is usually caused by the heel of your hand being rubbed against the mouse mat for long periods of time, usually during all nighters on the internet.
A computer callous is most often a little more red than your usual skin tone and is quite soft and smooth.
It is usually caused by the heel of your hand being rubbed against the mouse mat for long periods of time, usually during all nighters on the internet.
A computer callous is most often a little more red than your usual skin tone and is quite soft and smooth.
by Hollydollie August 21, 2009
Get the Computer callousmug. "I'm a computer killer"
"Whys that John?"
"Because I cummed all over my computer and it short circuited"
"Whys that John?"
"Because I cummed all over my computer and it short circuited"
by Yolo butter balls April 21, 2016
Get the computer killermug. Originally designed as an educational tool in the 70's it was marketed as the first computer small and cheap enough to be owned by individual consumers. Touted as the first "personal computer" and simple enough that a child could learn to operate they gained contracts with U.S. schools. They had 2 main competitors IBM which focused on business applications and Commodore who focused on entertainment (games and media).
As each improved it's side applications Commodore had trouble in the market as businesses leaned heavier on IBM and Apple had contracts with the U.S. educational systems. People saw games and media as frivolous and Commodore filed bankruptcy. However Apple snatched up bits of it and started to develop visual media which is still it's bragging point today.
IBM set it's sights on international markets and set a standard for clones and compatible systems working with Microsoft they developed the windows operating system and truly became personal computers globally.
Apple, although making models for individuals, has somehow gone to market as simply "Apple" all others systems are called PC (personal computers).
A closer look shows this to be true. IBM compatible computers have programs written by anyone and used by individual preference.
Apple is developed by Apple, licensed by Apple and largely slow or incompatible with any other systems They cost 2-3 times more and have a cult like following of hipsters and people who think they know more than everyone else.
As each improved it's side applications Commodore had trouble in the market as businesses leaned heavier on IBM and Apple had contracts with the U.S. educational systems. People saw games and media as frivolous and Commodore filed bankruptcy. However Apple snatched up bits of it and started to develop visual media which is still it's bragging point today.
IBM set it's sights on international markets and set a standard for clones and compatible systems working with Microsoft they developed the windows operating system and truly became personal computers globally.
Apple, although making models for individuals, has somehow gone to market as simply "Apple" all others systems are called PC (personal computers).
A closer look shows this to be true. IBM compatible computers have programs written by anyone and used by individual preference.
Apple is developed by Apple, licensed by Apple and largely slow or incompatible with any other systems They cost 2-3 times more and have a cult like following of hipsters and people who think they know more than everyone else.
I got the most expensive computer on the market!
Oh, really? What kind of Apple computer did you get?
Oh, really? What kind of Apple computer did you get?
by Appledumpster June 25, 2017
Get the Apple computermug. The shittiest machine ever.
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
student: I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL COMPUTER!!!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!
by Lovecraftian_Horror#1 January 19, 2021
Get the School computermug.