scientific dicks

1. A completely nonsense phrase invented in the middle of an unhinged rant, usually by someone who crushed a lot of beers and is now in a state of bliss over a grotto pizza

2. Tiny, over-engineered, lab-grade dicks supposedly designed for maximum “fit efficiency,” allowing an impossible quantity to be involved in the story purely because George has decided science is on his side.

George wouldn’t shut up about fitting half a dozen scientific dicks somewhere they definitely did not belong.

Ryan: George what do you think about dewey beach
George: It's a bunch of dicks and a bunch of asses
Ryan: Are you sure
George interrupting: and I'll fuck all those dicks right in my ass
Ryan: Oh my god, are you sure about that
George: Yes, I will fuck all those dicks right in my ass George takes a giant bite of pizza
Ryan: George, we're at grotto
George: Yup
Ryan: So are you sure about that.
George: Yes, I'm sure, I could fit so many, like half a dozen dicks in my ass, their scientific, dicks, silly scientific dicks in my ass, I'll fuck them up with a bunch of regular dicks
Ryan: Oh my god
George continuing: also in your ass
Ryan: oh my god George you are so fucked up right now
George: I don't know what you're talking about, I can eat so many sandwiches, you need a bunch of sandwiches, oh, is he gonna eat his pizza I'm gonna eat his pizza

by boondocks5 March 22, 2026

Scientific Slippery Slope

A rhetorical fallacy common in online science communication, skeptic communities, and anti-pseudoscience circles where any expression of doubt, criticism of scientific institutions, or engagement with non-scientific beliefs is treated as the first step down an inevitable path toward severe anti-science and harmful practices. The scientific slippery slope assumes that questioning a study means you reject all science; that being open to alternative medicine means you'll abandon evidence-based treatment; that entertaining a spiritual belief means you're one step from vaccine denial. In reality, most people hold complex, contextual views that don't slide into extremism. The fallacy functions as a thought-terminating cliché, allowing debunkers to dismiss nuance without engagement. It protects scientific orthodoxy by making any deviation seem dangerous, conflating skepticism of particular claims with rejection of science itself, and turning genuine epistemic humility into a perceived threat.

Example: "He suggested that peer review might have flaws, and they immediately accused him of being anti-science. Scientific Slippery Slope: a reasonable critique was treated as the first step toward burning textbooks."

by Abzugal March 22, 2026

Scientific Charlatanism

A deceptive practice common in online science communication where individuals present themselves as authoritative defenders of science while engaging in shallow, misleading, or self-serving rhetoric. The scientific charlatan mimics the language of scientific rigor—demanding evidence, citing studies, invoking the scientific method—while using these tools to dismiss genuine inquiry, protect orthodoxy, or build personal brand. They are distinguished from legitimate science communicators by their lack of epistemic humility, their willingness to misrepresent uncertainty as certainty, their tendency to weaponize "science says" against any dissent, and their prioritization of performance over understanding. Scientific charlatanism flourishes in attention-driven media environments where confidence matters more than accuracy, and where being "pro-science" can become an identity unmoored from actual scientific practice.

Example: "He had no scientific training, but his YouTube channel was all 'science says' and mocking believers. Scientific Charlatanism: performing rigor without practicing it, and calling it education."

by Abzugal March 22, 2026

Scientist Envy

A form of jealousy that involves a homosexual man constantly claiming that an actual scientist, with official government paperwork, is not a scientist.

Brian: You're not a scientist.
Caleb: You must be one of those navy guys who loves hotracking and has a bad case of scientist envy.

by Boofing kinggg October 1, 2025

Sunday Scientist

A person who suddenly cares about science when major science news is happening. Comparable to a "sunday christian."

"This Mars landing sure is bringing a lot of 'sunday scientists' out of the wood work."

by Tony Tornado August 9, 2012

Rock Scientist

Pretty much a geologist, just a lot shittier and less educated then a normal one.

Holy shit, did you hear that Rick’s backup plan is to become a rock scientist?!

by Guacas Muy Grandes June 6, 2020

Doctor Scientist

1. The stereotype of a scientific professional who knows everything that falls under the blanket term of “science” because they're a scientist

2. A psudo-science marketeer who uses their academically unrecognised or unrelated expertise to generate support for their conspiracy theory and/or snake oil.

How will we ever figure out this chemistry based logic puzzle in the allotted time?!
Look, here comes doctor Scientist, his quantum physics degree can help us!

Did you know that all genetically modified food has DNA in it? I've studied it's effects in my homeopathy lab, and it literally changes your DNA when you eat it! It's a form of population control!

by Maxwell Zephyr June 9, 2020