Basement Bum

A middle aged vagabond who hides in your basement in order to stay out of bad weather. They sit in the dark corners of your cellar until you go down there to get laundry done or bring out the holiday ornaments. Once you do, they attack you with a rusty screwdriver that is infested with diseases.

All basement bums are male. There is no such thing as a female basement bum. If you think you see a female basement bum, it's probably a hooker or a crackhead.

If you believe you may have a basement bum, do not call 911. The emergency operators will simply laugh at you. Instead, call 1-800-BUM-HELP and pray to god that it's not too late...

Guy 1: Hello?!

Guy 2: Hey. What's up?

Guy 1: Dude, come over quick! I think I may have a basement bum in my cellar!

Guy 2: Yeah fucking right, man. I'm not going to mess with that crazy fucker!

Guy 1: Please, I thought we were friends! Just come over real quick and bring your gun.

Guy 2: Ahahahahahaha! Bullets can't hurt a basement bum. You're fucking dead, man!

Guy 1: What should I do?!

Guy 2: Hang up and call 1-800-BUM-HELP quick!

Guy 1: What?

Guy 2: Just do it!! ...Godspeed!

Guy 1: Okay I'll call you ba--AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HEEEEEEELP!! ...WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT SCREWDRIVER?!? OH SWEET JESUS!!!!! AHHHHHH!!

*Dial Tone*

Guy 2: Holy shit...

by RVB123 April 20, 2010

based and breadpilled

Based and red pilled, but leftist. Refers to The Conquest of Bread.

That meme is based and breadpilled.

by Soup The Clueless November 21, 2020

1000001st base

when you actually make it to the end of a rainbow and have sex with a leprechaun, the pot of gold, the rainbow itself, and ronnie james dio.

Dude! Last night i got to 1000001st base and i gotta be honest... it kind of hurt...

by knacamagus January 9, 2009

31st base

oral sex performed over the phone where the guy sticks his dick in the phone and it comes out the other line into the chicks mouth. just like the cartoons, the real definition of phone sex

chick #1: i was talking to my bf the other night and before i knew it i found his dick in my mouth

chick #2: i hate it when those fucking telemarketers get the better of me

guy #1: 31st base is the new form of cyber bullying

by rodney foxx May 6, 2008

23rd Base

Toast fucking. Where you fuck or get fucked with toast. AKA "toasting"

The chefs at Denny's got to 23rd base with your breakfast.

by bluelotus3618 April 1, 2009

100th base

To have sexual intercourse with an entire zoo, the zoo keepers, the vistors, tourists and even the local wildlife that isnt part of the zoo.

Guy 1:"I scored 100th base when I fucked a giraffe,
elephant, zebra,llama, anaconda, gorilla, flamingo, lion, stick insect, panda, rhino, tiger, twenty zoo keepers and 500 random strangers!

Guy 2:...Get out.

by Evil mike son of a bitch August 21, 2006

Basementation

Camping and/or cramming numerous bodies (people and pets alike) in a homeslice's basement for a particularly awesome weekend.

"I would much rather go on an extra basementation than go to another townie wedding."

by basement squatter September 28, 2012