A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society
2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene
4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society
2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene
4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.
Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea
by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017
Get the zombie-beardmug. A man's beard that is so attractive women (or men) cannot control their impulse to touch, stroke, or rub themselves against it, similar to how cats find catnip irresistible.
by figurista June 7, 2014
Get the catnip beardmug. by Mr. handfart January 10, 2011
Get the Johnson Beardmug. After 30 years of unknowingly acting as Bruce's beard, Cindy finally divorced him after he got caught red-handed at the gay bar.
Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?
Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!
Bruce: I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was gay when we got married. Will you stay married to me and pretend that we have sex?
Cindy: I think it's time you came out of the closet - I'm shaving the beard!
by Steve Fraser September 21, 2011
Get the Shaving the Beardmug. The point in beard growth when the length is beyond stubble or stylishly short fuzz, and a decision must be made to trim, shave, or let it grow.
A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.
A secondary characteristic of many beard horizons is, as the length becomes more noticeable, it can become more distracting or annoying...such as with moustache hair that curls over the upper lip, or chin hair that is frequently messed with.
This douchey chinstrap is gettin' kind of burly...think I've hit beard horizon.
Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.
Hey, Justin...your carefully cultuvated "fashionably unkempt" party stubble is turning into a full-blown hipster face-wig. I think you blew past beard horizon some time during a weekend PBR bender.
by lordjupiter December 9, 2012
Get the beard horizonmug. The result of copulation between a man and a cursed corpse. The man's penis takes on the appearance of a hairy jalapeno.
Origin: The condition was first mentioned on the podcast "Learning to Curse with Adam & Chuck", where it is used as a recurring joke.
Origin: The condition was first mentioned on the podcast "Learning to Curse with Adam & Chuck", where it is used as a recurring joke.
Person 1 Hey, bro... how do you cure a bearded pepper?
Person 2 There is no cure... that's what you get for being a necrophiliac.
Person 2 There is no cure... that's what you get for being a necrophiliac.
by Learningtocurse August 28, 2018
Get the Bearded Peppermug. A sad, wilted foreskin, caused by having too little of your foreskin removed at birth, resembling that of a dragons beard depicted in ancient Japanese paintings.
Dude, how long has it been since you've scrubbed that dick jacket? That dragon-beard's so stanky i can smell it from the kitchen.
by TheRealFrankieMuniz December 24, 2016
Get the Dragon-Beardmug.