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Dequantis’s Law

The member of the group with the darkest skin color will always commit the most number of crimes. If the skin color is the same, all members will commit the same quantity of crimes.
Ryln is the darkest in the group, yet commits the most crimes. This theory is known as Dequantis’s Law.
by MrFlamegator May 21, 2024
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Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions

The probability of a finance manager forgetting to collect the down payment that is directly proportional to the size of the down payment and inversely proportional to the memory capacity of the involved manager.
I saw the finance manager running after a customer realizing that Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions had taken place.
by K9 _Cop May 22, 2024
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Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions

The probability of a finance manager forgetting to collect the down payment that is directly proportional to the size of the down payment and inversely proportional to the memory capacity of the involved manager.
I saw the finance manager running after a customer realizing that Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions had taken place.
by K9 _Cop May 22, 2024
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Done’s Law

An idea similar in concept to Murphy’s Law which states “Anything that can be taken out of context, will be taken out of context
Guy #1: “I love Dick (1999)”
Guy #2: “lmao you love Dick
Guy #1: “I do, but I am also now a victim of Done’s Law
by Soulja Boy MD May 23, 2024
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Cummins Law

In a nutshell, Cummins Law occurs when you're listening to the podcast 'Timesuck with Dan Cummins' and people, unaware of the podcast, end of hearing what you're listening to--which is usually dark, crude humor, leading to embarrassment.

This can happen during Bluetooth interruptions, or by simply being unaware of your surroundings.
I fell victim to the Cummins Law, today.

Not the best story, and it probably isn’t worth writing into the show about, but here it is...

Today, was playing video games and listening to the newest Timesuck episode with headphones, when my brother came into the room. He wanted to play me a song he just learned on my guitar. (We each have our own guitars/amps and like to show each other new stuff we learn)

My guitar amp has Bluetooth and my phone automatically connects whenever it gets turned on. As soon as he turns on my amp, Dan’s voice comes through loudly saying something like “I bet his dick got super hard,” referring to Alexander Solonik's sports car."
by Timesucker941 May 24, 2024
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Rat's Law

If the game allows ratting, there will be ratting.
Player: Jesus man, why do people rat at the extract
Other player: That is Rat's Law for you
Player: I am going to go complain about this issue on the Discord server
Other player: Don't, just deal with it
Player: Ok
by fibonaccisequences May 24, 2024
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Law Gore

Nerdy brother to Al Gore. Little known to the general public, but similarly-learned in using mathematical operations/equations to make "inconvenient truth" speeches.
If we study the key Al Gore rhythms and compare them with Law Gore rhythms, will we actually get a clearer idea of how to solve global warming, or will we just get even more confused with all of those complex mathematical formulas???
by QuacksO November 25, 2021
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