Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025
Get the Douche Canoe mug.One whom exclusively uses the pistol in a shooter game, especially by just using it to pistol whip. Usually frowned upon by all other players, especially in the XBOX 360 game Gears of War.
by bigmax June 17, 2007
Get the pistol douche mug.Douche monkey means: Someone being rude also acting very ignorant and saying or doing something uncalled for. (2) An insult or joke to use for someone you do not like or are friends with
(1)
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
by Dalyena October 26, 2015
Get the Douche monkey mug.Opposite of lax bro. This person talks about lacrosse all the time and seems super chill but then shits on his friends.
Me: “Hey man. Did you know PD played lax?”
The World: “Ya bro. He is a lax douche. No chill. No pull.”
Me: “Bro that’s a bummer!”
The World: “He can eat shit.”
The World: “Ya bro. He is a lax douche. No chill. No pull.”
Me: “Bro that’s a bummer!”
The World: “He can eat shit.”
by PDSuckswanker March 12, 2024
Get the Lax Douche mug.Term used to describe the group of males lingering in various locations (i.e. bars, clubs, bowling allies, etc.) near last call, hoping to scam on desperate and/or intoxicated females.
Also referring to the quality of man, being as these creatures are of the lowest quality and are often compared to pond scum, or the crap at the bottom of the toothbrush holder in your bathroom.
Also referring to the quality of man, being as these creatures are of the lowest quality and are often compared to pond scum, or the crap at the bottom of the toothbrush holder in your bathroom.
by Ghouly Girl April 1, 2011
Get the Douche Scum mug.The act of saying something extremely shitty, racist/sexist, whatever the fuck you want that's a 0.006126126441 IQ move, and then calling it a joke, when you really mean it.
by Słoneczny! May 27, 2020
Get the Hide and Douche mug.A medical device used by women to lubricate their vagina.
Also it is someone who embodies this device. It is a man (usually) that for some reason gets attention from females despite the fact that he is a jerk to everyone, including the females he gets attention from. Sometimes he may not even know that he is doing it, but most of the time he does and his indifference or assumed indifference is the cause of a level of distaste from his peers, especially other males. He needs not be moronic, attention seeking, or with a self inflated sense of self worth, but most of the time is some combination. He may actually have a good amount of friends, but most of these are women and men who want to be near women. He probably is the subject of mockery behind his back or the subject to bitching about between other males and females in private.
Also it is someone who embodies this device. It is a man (usually) that for some reason gets attention from females despite the fact that he is a jerk to everyone, including the females he gets attention from. Sometimes he may not even know that he is doing it, but most of the time he does and his indifference or assumed indifference is the cause of a level of distaste from his peers, especially other males. He needs not be moronic, attention seeking, or with a self inflated sense of self worth, but most of the time is some combination. He may actually have a good amount of friends, but most of these are women and men who want to be near women. He probably is the subject of mockery behind his back or the subject to bitching about between other males and females in private.
That guy, mike, is such a douche. Why do people even like him?
My vag is so dry.
Girl, you should buy a douche.
My vag is so dry.
Girl, you should buy a douche.
by drgnslyr0929 October 7, 2012
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