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Jared

This person will make you feel the lightest you’ve ever felt ever! Like a skinny skinny feather. Jared’s are unapologetic and charming with a fantastical sense of humor. He cherishes his friends and treats them like absolute guido/guidette royalty! Obsessed with gorillas and getting sticky and shaking ass.
Jared can simply whip the piss.
by Definedinmylanguage February 2, 2022
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Jared

A short male that stinks of b.o (body Oder) and has a nasty hair cut and can’t pull bothers so he preys on little girl
Jared: Bro I can suck my own dick

Person 2: wtf ur weird
by Donkeydickjr December 27, 2021
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Jared

A guy who pees on something to make art.
“Is that Jared? What did he draw this time?”
by Cheeeztordee December 29, 2021
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Jared

Someone who has sexual intercourse with cats.

Someone who rapes cats without consent

Someone with a 4” by 14”

Someone who gapes cats

Someone who eats cat

Someone who overall pounds pussycats
Oh hey is that jared? Yeah, he fucking pounds cat!
by Yourlocalcatpedophile January 2, 2022
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Jared

He is the nicest guy around if you need someone to talk to, talk to a jared. They are a little immature at times, but if you need a guy who will treat you write Jared’s your guy. If you become Jared’s love interest treat him right.
by Tennisgurl January 5, 2022
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Jared

Jared is the best buddy you could ever have, he no doubt has a cool car with a pathetic horn, lives with his mum, he lives of cigarettes and Mountain Dew!! He’s so cool that he wears sun glasses all day and all night, inside, outside it doesn’t matter with out them he just isn’t the same, and can’t see…
Hey you know that guy Jared? The sweaty boy, that drinks Mountain Dew like water? Yeah he’s so cool, the best bud ever! I wish I had a BFF like Jared.
by The most Methical Unicorn ever February 16, 2022
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Jared

Jared is always the name of a doomsday cult leader. Jared is, contrary to most cult leaders, a snivelling goblin man, who has somehow amassed a large following. He is usually accompanied by 2-3 bodyguards carrying weapons of some kind - in some cases, Jared will needlessly kill one of the bodyguards for some fucking reason.

In terms of appearance, Jareds often lack shirts (though they occasionally wear jackets), and have either scars or tattoos. They are rarely overly muscular, often having pathetic arms.
Fucking Jared.
"It is I, Jared, the exalted leader of the Order of The Sun."
"..."
"Fucking Jared."
by piss boy jr February 19, 2022
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