Bearded Nelson

Someone who attempts to grow facial hair while being physically unable to grow a complete, bushy bear-like beard, and instead sports what is best descirbed as 'peach fuzz'.
This person is usually fairly young, and should probably wait a few years before tying to sport facial hair again.

This look us often paired with a mullet.

Friend 1: Hey look at that guy over there, he can't even grow a proper beard like a real man.
Friend 2: Yeah that is a proper bearded Nelson, mate.

by Hankorus, King of the Beards November 27, 2012

Jizz Beard

AKA Splash Tash

The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.

‘As Denise skipped out of Pinewood Studios after her successful audition, she wondered if the 50cc’s of rod flem that had been pissed on her face to form a claggy jizz beard was worth it.

by Herbie Dongsporran October 13, 2021

Fecal Beard

When someone doesn't wash their hands after pooping and then puts their hands on your face.

Sally, please don't rub the stubble on my face if you haven't washed your hands after going #2, because you've now given me a fecal beard and I have to disinfect my face.

by jennacola March 8, 2013

Johnson Beard

Pubic hair that has grown longer than one's right thumb.

Dude, my Johnson beard looks like the Amazon jungle during the summer

by Mr. handfart January 10, 2011

Bearded Wazzy

The act of tearing out someone's pubic hair at the exact moment of climax, soaking it in said climax, and then placing it on their face - the fluids acting as an adhesive.

Man, I had sex with this chick who had a bush from the effing nineties... sooo I gave her a Bearded Wazzy.

by GKBDB January 12, 2010

Pre-Bearding

To prepare the face/existing facial hair for future beardage

"Dude, are you doing no-shave November?" "Yeah man, but I've got to do some pre-bearding on this goatee first."

"Are you trying to grow a beard?" "Why yes I am, but first I have to pre-beard this part because it takes forever to get long."

by thebeardmeister September 23, 2011

U-Beard

Lower half of a goatee in the shape of a U due to lack of proper beard growing skills.

Ben Roethlisberger has been spotted sporting a U-Beard

by Don Lars December 12, 2009