Absolute Unit

The absolute definition of a chonker.
An absolute unit = a gigachad of immaculate form.
Goncalos are natural born absolute units.

Goncalo: I'm an ABSOLUTE UNIT
The rest of the lads: yeah whatever...

by Le Handle May 10, 2021

You Absolute Soggy Flannel

1: Used generally to call someone an idiot or a bit stupid

2: If you say "you have the personality of a soggy flannel" basically means youre dry asf and you need to have a bit more personality babes xox

1: Youre so bad at obbys, you absolute soggy flannel

2: I was talking to him last night and honest to god he was like a soggy flannel

by CalpolInhaler June 4, 2023

Absolute value

Something everybody should learn when they're ten seconds old

The absolute value of 29 is 29 because 29 is equal to 29

by What the hell is a pseudonym12 April 1, 2024

Absolute unit

Basically an absolute unit is often used to describe someone who is larger but in the case of the Irish that’s not what it means. An absolute unit is just an idiot or someone who lets a lot get in the way of them.

“Ayo, you’re an absolute unit you are mun”

by Child of god (jk Satan is bae) April 15, 2021

Absolute ballshit

An act of unfairness and unpredictability

That’s absolute ballshit! FGR should have won again. Instead FGR decided to hit the woodwork, miss 1 on 1’s and lose

by BURYAREBASTARDS January 20, 2019

Absolute faggotry

When someone is being so gay they become straight then gay again

Anyone who uses a shotgun I call of duty shows absolute faggotry

by Everduse July 18, 2025

Absolut Value

The value of one's weight in absolut vodka. Multiply weight in lbs by 14.08 (Absolut vodka is roughly 88 cents per ounce).

"See that girl over there, the really skinny one?"
"Oh shit! She is so fucking skinny."
"I bet her absolut value is only 1300"
"I'd say 1200."
"Shiiet."

absolute value absolute vodka absolut vodka

by bennydre April 30, 2013